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How do we cope
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<blockquote data-quote="n64bomb" data-source="post: 717622" data-attributes="member: 18055"><p>You might want to think about it being a condition he passes a randomized drug test to be at your house. When they want help and are on the streets, they know how to get help or go to shelters. If he doesn't go to shelters, it is because he is still using and refuses to stop. If you are the initiator to him going to rehab instead of himself, you will be in for a rude awakening, as he is just using it to manipulate you. </p><p></p><p>Let me rephrase: when the addict on the streets wants help, he/she will take the necessary actions to get in a shelter and follow the rules. When an addict is desperate and not willing to go to a shelter/rehab, he/she will feign going to rehab as a way of manipulating others to get short term shelter. What he did was a calculated act of desperation. He didn't rock bottom and keeps getting bailed out. </p><p></p><p>If he isn't the one initiating and calling the rehab or shelter, then you are wasting your time trying to push what you want on him. It means he/she isn't ready, and will use that against you by saying he/she is going to rehab, but really has an ulterior motive. Something to consider.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there, LBL. Let him rock bottom, and if you try to push what you want on him, don't be surprised when he "suddenly goes along with it" in the short term to get something he wants, then dumps it. He has to want to change!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="n64bomb, post: 717622, member: 18055"] You might want to think about it being a condition he passes a randomized drug test to be at your house. When they want help and are on the streets, they know how to get help or go to shelters. If he doesn't go to shelters, it is because he is still using and refuses to stop. If you are the initiator to him going to rehab instead of himself, you will be in for a rude awakening, as he is just using it to manipulate you. Let me rephrase: when the addict on the streets wants help, he/she will take the necessary actions to get in a shelter and follow the rules. When an addict is desperate and not willing to go to a shelter/rehab, he/she will feign going to rehab as a way of manipulating others to get short term shelter. What he did was a calculated act of desperation. He didn't rock bottom and keeps getting bailed out. If he isn't the one initiating and calling the rehab or shelter, then you are wasting your time trying to push what you want on him. It means he/she isn't ready, and will use that against you by saying he/she is going to rehab, but really has an ulterior motive. Something to consider. Hang in there, LBL. Let him rock bottom, and if you try to push what you want on him, don't be surprised when he "suddenly goes along with it" in the short term to get something he wants, then dumps it. He has to want to change! [/QUOTE]
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