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How do we get him out on his own?
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 366754" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>A contract is a good idea; a "lease" so to speak. I would suggest you and your husband sit down and decide what the parameters will be, prepare yourselves, form a united front, and sit down with your difficult child to go over it all. Include in the contract that he is to apply for "x" jobs a week until he is employed. Set a deadline for finding employment, and for a first rent payment following employment, and be prepared to stick with it. If it looks like he is not going to follow through on his end, you'll need to have a plan in place for evicting him. I believe that unless physically incapable of working, most young adults will find a way to work and survive on their own once they are forced to. He has to know you mean it, though, and you have to be prepared to follow through, or it won't work. </p><p></p><p>You mention that he can "get his laundry done" there.. if that means *you* are doing his laundry? I'd urge you to stop and make him responsible for his own clean clothes. Laundry service shouldn't be a perk of living at home for an adult child, in my opinion. </p><p></p><p>I'd agree with searching his room ... put that in the contract, that you are entitled to search his room at any time... also put in writing that weapons are NOT allowed... and confiscate anything illegal or in violation of the contract. </p><p></p><p>Tough love isn't for the faint hearted, I know it is extremely difficult and seems almost unnatural, but you can do it! We'll be here to help along the way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 366754, member: 1157"] A contract is a good idea; a "lease" so to speak. I would suggest you and your husband sit down and decide what the parameters will be, prepare yourselves, form a united front, and sit down with your difficult child to go over it all. Include in the contract that he is to apply for "x" jobs a week until he is employed. Set a deadline for finding employment, and for a first rent payment following employment, and be prepared to stick with it. If it looks like he is not going to follow through on his end, you'll need to have a plan in place for evicting him. I believe that unless physically incapable of working, most young adults will find a way to work and survive on their own once they are forced to. He has to know you mean it, though, and you have to be prepared to follow through, or it won't work. You mention that he can "get his laundry done" there.. if that means *you* are doing his laundry? I'd urge you to stop and make him responsible for his own clean clothes. Laundry service shouldn't be a perk of living at home for an adult child, in my opinion. I'd agree with searching his room ... put that in the contract, that you are entitled to search his room at any time... also put in writing that weapons are NOT allowed... and confiscate anything illegal or in violation of the contract. Tough love isn't for the faint hearted, I know it is extremely difficult and seems almost unnatural, but you can do it! We'll be here to help along the way. [/QUOTE]
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How do we get him out on his own?
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