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How do we get him out on his own?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 366782" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I got stopped when I read he was adopted at one. What were the circumstances? Did his birth parents maybe have mental illnesses or did birthmom use drugs or drink while she was pregnant? He sounds like he may have some issues that make him slow to catch on or to understand life. At his age he should know that $100 won't get him an apartment. Was he was prenatally exposed to alcohol because if he has fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, he isn't going to learn and you sort of have to look for long term assisted living for him. This would not be the same as a biological child who was nurtured in the womb and is perfectly capable of taking care of himself but is too busy using drugs to become an adult.</p><p></p><p>Your son reminds me a bit of a child I adopted at two. He is almost seventeen, and a good kid, but he isn't ready to come close to moving out and he is going to need some assistance as an adult. He is on the autism spectrum, high functioning. His birthmother used drugs and drank and the poor start he got was not his fault. However, my son tries very hard at everything. That doesn't mean your son is all that different from mine. He really may not understand even simple job explanations and get very frustrated. </p><p></p><p>Although he is of legal age, is he capable of taking care of himself if he applies himself? These are the hard questions parents of kids who were exposed to drugs and alcohol have to be realistsic about. Alcohol can cause permanent brain damage. It can cause Learning Disability (LD) issues, autistic spectrum, and other things. It doesn't matter how long YOU raised him. The genes and prenatal baggage never go away. </p><p></p><p>The gun is scary. I'd take his door off and search his room often. I would not necessarily have the same expectations of him that I would have had of a child born to me that had good care in utero. But I WOULD insist that he try and would not give him money. Like you said, free rent is money. If you feel he is not capable of living on his own, contact a disabiities resource center (you can get the name of your local one from social services) to get him assessed for assisted living services. You would be doing him a favor. but, again, you know the pre-birth situation and his birthparent history better than us. Just remember, he didn't shed either when he came to live with you.</p><p></p><p>Be sure to take care of yourself. That's first and foremost. "If momma ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy" I believe that, being the momma <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 366782, member: 1550"] I got stopped when I read he was adopted at one. What were the circumstances? Did his birth parents maybe have mental illnesses or did birthmom use drugs or drink while she was pregnant? He sounds like he may have some issues that make him slow to catch on or to understand life. At his age he should know that $100 won't get him an apartment. Was he was prenatally exposed to alcohol because if he has fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, he isn't going to learn and you sort of have to look for long term assisted living for him. This would not be the same as a biological child who was nurtured in the womb and is perfectly capable of taking care of himself but is too busy using drugs to become an adult. Your son reminds me a bit of a child I adopted at two. He is almost seventeen, and a good kid, but he isn't ready to come close to moving out and he is going to need some assistance as an adult. He is on the autism spectrum, high functioning. His birthmother used drugs and drank and the poor start he got was not his fault. However, my son tries very hard at everything. That doesn't mean your son is all that different from mine. He really may not understand even simple job explanations and get very frustrated. Although he is of legal age, is he capable of taking care of himself if he applies himself? These are the hard questions parents of kids who were exposed to drugs and alcohol have to be realistsic about. Alcohol can cause permanent brain damage. It can cause Learning Disability (LD) issues, autistic spectrum, and other things. It doesn't matter how long YOU raised him. The genes and prenatal baggage never go away. The gun is scary. I'd take his door off and search his room often. I would not necessarily have the same expectations of him that I would have had of a child born to me that had good care in utero. But I WOULD insist that he try and would not give him money. Like you said, free rent is money. If you feel he is not capable of living on his own, contact a disabiities resource center (you can get the name of your local one from social services) to get him assessed for assisted living services. You would be doing him a favor. but, again, you know the pre-birth situation and his birthparent history better than us. Just remember, he didn't shed either when he came to live with you. Be sure to take care of yourself. That's first and foremost. "If momma ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy" I believe that, being the momma ;) [/QUOTE]
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How do we get him out on his own?
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