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How do you accept that things will never go smoothly?
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 572720" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Two things have really helped me work on accepting how things are - first is the serenity prayer, which I have on a medallion that I wear around my neck 24/7. I *cannot* control everything, no matter how hard I try. I can try to promote change, but sometimes I need to really recognize if it's a brick wall I'm trying to change. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>The other is something my counselor told me about a year ago. "The definition of suffering is wanting things to be different than the way they are." It may just be me, but that struck me as such a profound yet simple concept. I keep that taped to my desk and read it very very often. </p><p></p><p>I think it's normal to have the "whys" and worry about what difficult child will/won't be able to do, but (and maybe I'm just really old and tired, LOL) at the end of the day, my take is that things will be what they're going to be. My difficult child isn't doing a whole lot, other than making plans that I just am not sure he can follow thru on - truly can't, not that he won't. There are still some gaps in his lifeskills. But.... he's safe, relatively happy, doing relatively okay today, and he is going to have to figure out what he can and cannot do. I'm thankful we're now in a space where we can offer him moral/emotional support without the gfgness.</p><p></p><p>I think it's important to allow ourselves the down days, but equally important to then just grab the bootstraps and continue onward with our own lives.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 572720, member: 8"] Two things have really helped me work on accepting how things are - first is the serenity prayer, which I have on a medallion that I wear around my neck 24/7. I *cannot* control everything, no matter how hard I try. I can try to promote change, but sometimes I need to really recognize if it's a brick wall I'm trying to change. :winking: The other is something my counselor told me about a year ago. "The definition of suffering is wanting things to be different than the way they are." It may just be me, but that struck me as such a profound yet simple concept. I keep that taped to my desk and read it very very often. I think it's normal to have the "whys" and worry about what difficult child will/won't be able to do, but (and maybe I'm just really old and tired, LOL) at the end of the day, my take is that things will be what they're going to be. My difficult child isn't doing a whole lot, other than making plans that I just am not sure he can follow thru on - truly can't, not that he won't. There are still some gaps in his lifeskills. But.... he's safe, relatively happy, doing relatively okay today, and he is going to have to figure out what he can and cannot do. I'm thankful we're now in a space where we can offer him moral/emotional support without the gfgness. I think it's important to allow ourselves the down days, but equally important to then just grab the bootstraps and continue onward with our own lives. Hugs to you. [/QUOTE]
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How do you accept that things will never go smoothly?
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