how do you control your ptsd with-o medications?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Feb 24, 2009.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member


    so it's been a hard week on multiple levels. difficult child is having extreme anxiety, boyfriend is also easy child is the only one hanging strong at this point.

    boyfriend is very upset with me, it finally came out the other night I guess with the committment of moving into something bigger combined with cleaning out drawers and seeing his divorce decree and reminded of the control he experienced for 20 years etc.

    so, apparently i am off the charts so he says and has been saying for a while now in regards to different things and i didn't see it. i handle work fine and i do juggle fairly well, here's the problem....... i react very badly to him, very dramatic all the time mostly and i do see it, i truly do. i know it's my recent diagnosis of complex ptsd better known as i am a nightmare. yet ti's time to move past why it is i have it and onto how does one control it without medication?

    all my clients who have it are medicated, i am afraid to and like to learn how to solve it on my own, surprise surprise lol.

    i do lunge at him badly my reactions are never parallel to what is going on. i do see it and i can also be controlling. i am my mom afterall :(

    point being we're moving into a big expensive place that takes two ppl and he's at the end of his rope he said and def wants to see change and he said that i never listen, etc.

    problem is when i am triggered logic leaves and emotion takes over it's very hard for me to distinguish what it is i'm experiencing because my emotions are running rampad at the time.

    i find i am often triggered even at the slightest sign of him being insensitive to my needs on any level at all. i fly off the handle now granted i am not yelling etc. at all. it's different it's going at him usually via text because he's working as usual and me saying hey can't you see you hurt me.

    anyway it's a huge problem and i gotta be honest i feel very guilty that i've been functioning this way and truly haven't noticed it. he feels totally beat up and always on guard. i guess he maintained and kept quiet a long time and just finally blew up to the point where bags were almost packed two nights before we moved which is tmrw.

    so i need the speed version here to stop torturing him. any thoughts tips etc from my friends :)
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I don't have PTSD but many years ago I was struggling with a lot of stress and went through biofeedback training. I highly recommend it--it was some of the best money I ever spent.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    CBT and psychotherapy by someone who specializes in PTSD- and if you can find someone who became a therapist because they had a similar experience, it's the best. Good luck!
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i kinda feel really bad i had no clue what i was doing. i handle the kids fairly well, yet boy do i go on attack with this man.

    i have heard emdr is good, anyone know of that?? i'm going to look for a dr. to do it. i tried bio feed back with difficult child neither of benefited lol, i also did therapy for a while. i unearthed the full version of the extended abuse yet now i have to figure out how to handle the emotions i lay onto person i'm closest to that being him. my reactions truly are not parallel to the event.

    little drama's good and keeps it interesting i think it's safe to say i go beyond that at times :)
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    it's weird if you my kid your safe it's all good, my friend your also safe. the man in my life no way you are soo not safe.
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Both difficult child and I had good, decent, results with EMDR years ago. If our counselor hadn't retired at the time, we would have continued - I think it would have served us better to stick with it a bit longer. However, that, as well as some behavioral type of therapy and you may do well.

    Any chance you and SO could do this together? I think it may be beneficial for him to understand where you are coming from so he may learn some coping skills while you're flying off the handle. I know that doesn't sound fair to him, but this is not a quick fix type of issue and while you're learning newer ways to communicate your frustrations and anger, he can learn ways in which to cope.

    Moving is up in the top 5 stressful situations, so try not to be so darned hard on yourself or him. When I moved up here to CT from LI years ago, H and I had a HUGE blowup the night before - we weren't married then and I was moving up alone with my girls and he was my mover. And there I was telling him how much I hated him and why didn't he this or that, and blah blah blah; everything was his fault. In reality, I was just shaking in my boots, I was so frightened to move 150 miles from everyone and everything that I knew, work full time in the city, and put my kids in daycare. It was a whole different ballgame and I was scared.

    Also, you've had another life changing event in recent weeks - you have a tighter schedule, you're working and caring for others on top of your own family. And you're relying on someone else to keep difficult child safe and sound.That is a tall order, Jen.

    With the moving, for you guys, on the down side, you know that it means a deeper commitment, more responsibilities and obligations, bigger bills, etc. On the up side, it means more space and privacy for everyone. It will all work out.

    Remember to take a break, go for a short walk, go sit in your car and scream at the top of your lungs. Go feed the ducks, do something to just "check out" for a bit so when you get back you can look at things anew.

    I'm sorry this has been such a trying time for you all. Hugs~
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Janna, I used EMDR for my difficult child it is expensive and insurance usually does not cover it and it takes at least 20 sessons for it to have lasting effects.

    I suffered from PTSDafter difficult child hurt me and I found the most effective thing in treatment for me was REIKI. I had seen a therapist for talk therapy but was left with a very overactive startle reflex. I would jump so violently I was pulling muscles. This happened on a regular basis. I decided to look into alternative therapies and stumbled upon Reiki. I had been doing energy excercises for years but had no knowledge of Reiki. I went online and found someone in my area. I recieved treatments once a week for about four months. I found the results amazing and then took classes and learned it for myself. I now give myself daily treatments and I am totally symptom free. I truly had been a wreck. I couldn't drive in a car without jumping out of my skin every few minutes. I couldn't ever drive over bridges. I was irritable and overly sensitive emotionally, and scattrered. I am now calm focused and have no trouble driving anywhere nor do I have trouble being driven by another. -RM
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    And I am gonna chime in on traditional therapy...along with medication if needed.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I did ok with tradition therapy and medications for a short time. Now days if I hit a ptsd moment I do alot of talking myself thru it.

    It's good that you recognize and can admit it is a problem, and that you're trying hard to change it.

  10. Steely

    Steely Active Member are not alone, by any means. I suffer from the same thing, as many of us do here, and it is unbelievably hard to manage.

    I have been seeing a counselor for 6 years, and doing CBT. For me that is the number one solution. They can dialog with you about your triggers, reactions, etc., on a weekly basis and help you get to the root of why you are being triggered and reacting.

    In the last year, because of the increase in stress, I also have seen a psychiatrist for Xanax. It is not something I take daily, only when I feel the triggers starting to ignite. It is very helpful in quelling the storm, so that I do not go over the top in my reactions.

    I have heard great things about EMDR - great things - but never tried it.

    Hang in there. Try and talk this through with boyfriend as much as you can. Tell him when you are feeling triggered and why. Explain to him the feeling it is bringing up in you, when he is doing X,Y, & Z. He sounds understanding, and empathic, it might help for him to just know more about you, and that this is not about him, but your past abuse.
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Hands down - 100% EMDR therapy. Best investment we ever made.
  12. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi guys thank you so much. Yup i'm going to do it! I tried traditional therapy and i even did the medication thing. i need something that now helps me deal wtih the behaviors. funny and disturbing thing is I"m all good with me. Yet I didn't realize the fun ride i'm giving boyfriend and well if i have to look back other men in my life.

    my MO is run fast, leave them first so they dont' leave you. This is pretty much the first time I haven't run. I never let them get too close kinda thing.

    so i'm going to try it and appreciate all the advice. i was off line for a bit with the move and all. a friend of mine is going to give me the info.