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General Parenting
How do you deal with your difficult child's insults, etc?
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 492692" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Malika have you read The Explosive Child? "THE book" as we call it here. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> It really does an amazing job of explaining how not to feed into a difficult child's behavior, and how to break the cycle. </p><p></p><p> Definitely ignoring is the best strategy, unless it turns into a situation that is going to hurt someone. Ignoring does not mean there might not be a consequence afterwards, but in the moment of the tangent, you simply should walk away and not engage with them. Later when all is calm, you can say things like because you did X you may not have Y tonight. It is best however, if you have the consequences for behavior all pre-planned, printed out and discussed with J when he is calm and rational, before any tantrum has happened. Then you can go back to the list when he is calm and point out to him the connection to the consequence. Very neutral in tone, you simply say - remember J we decided if you did A then B would happen as a consequence.</p><p></p><p>Good luck - sorry you are going through this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 492692, member: 3301"] Malika have you read The Explosive Child? "THE book" as we call it here. :) It really does an amazing job of explaining how not to feed into a difficult child's behavior, and how to break the cycle. Definitely ignoring is the best strategy, unless it turns into a situation that is going to hurt someone. Ignoring does not mean there might not be a consequence afterwards, but in the moment of the tangent, you simply should walk away and not engage with them. Later when all is calm, you can say things like because you did X you may not have Y tonight. It is best however, if you have the consequences for behavior all pre-planned, printed out and discussed with J when he is calm and rational, before any tantrum has happened. Then you can go back to the list when he is calm and point out to him the connection to the consequence. Very neutral in tone, you simply say - remember J we decided if you did A then B would happen as a consequence. Good luck - sorry you are going through this. [/QUOTE]
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How do you deal with your difficult child's insults, etc?
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