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General Parenting
How do you deal with your difficult child's insults, etc?
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 492956" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hmmm, that's food for thought, Steely. I suppose if we take it down to the bare bones, I have consequences in the sense that if he spills something on the floor, he wipes it up, drops something, he must pick it up, etc. I would be willing to try less direct consequences, for behaviour. The issue is that J "loses it" really fast and really intensely - has dozens of shouting, crying outbursts every day when he does not get what he wants or is thwarted in some way. And I can see, based on past experience, what would happen if I tried to institute a consequence for breaking a previously agreed rule. He gets manically upset, and will not give up (the only time he will not drop a tantrum) because, I sense, being deprived of something is unbearable to him, representing... the losses and abandonment in his life? I don't know but I know that what has happened each time before is that he has made himself literally sick with crying and frenzy over this so that the whole thing feels more destructive than constructive.</p><p>But I will give it another go, discussing it with him beforehand and agreeing certain things. That may make the difference.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 492956, member: 11227"] Hmmm, that's food for thought, Steely. I suppose if we take it down to the bare bones, I have consequences in the sense that if he spills something on the floor, he wipes it up, drops something, he must pick it up, etc. I would be willing to try less direct consequences, for behaviour. The issue is that J "loses it" really fast and really intensely - has dozens of shouting, crying outbursts every day when he does not get what he wants or is thwarted in some way. And I can see, based on past experience, what would happen if I tried to institute a consequence for breaking a previously agreed rule. He gets manically upset, and will not give up (the only time he will not drop a tantrum) because, I sense, being deprived of something is unbearable to him, representing... the losses and abandonment in his life? I don't know but I know that what has happened each time before is that he has made himself literally sick with crying and frenzy over this so that the whole thing feels more destructive than constructive. But I will give it another go, discussing it with him beforehand and agreeing certain things. That may make the difference. [/QUOTE]
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How do you deal with your difficult child's insults, etc?
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