Is there a counselor, social worker, therapist, or minister at the hospital? If you talk to someone, it will help you to feel more calm. Yes, right now, you are the prority. You need to be strong for your health right now.
A staff social worker can help you to deal with this. Yes, your son needs help, but he needs to want help and chose to use this help on his own. The social worker can tell you about specific shelters, drug rehabs, sober living houses, etc. for your son. But, he needs to do this all by himself. Not you. I think that by having the knowledge of the numerous, easily accessible programs near him will allow you to relax a bit.
You know, that even if you drove him to each place, he could still say, "No". Or, run off the next day, while keeping your money. He needs to do it.
Speak to someone there so that you can sleep and rest up for your procedure.
This site is full of loving parents that have finally reached their personal breaking point. Too much destruction of property, lying, stealing, siblings lives ruined, and broken promises. They came to the very painful realization that their help and support, combined with allowing them to live in their house, was not only not helping their children, but hurting their children.
He will get clothes. There are many programs out there eager to help. I have read that it is much easier to be disrespectful and say no to one parent, than to many kind people at the shelter. He needs to face real life to want to change. Love, sadly, is not enough.
My heart feels your pain. You are on this site because you love your child. We are here for you. My son is mentally ill, but I let him live with me for 9 years. I had to file a restraining order 3 1/2 months ago because he was threatening my life. Yes, I love him. I have been told by several therapists that he could not ever get better living here. I, in fact, could have made him worse. I regret my choices now. My choices made out of love.
Keep posting. It truly helps. Others will be along... My thoughts and prayers are with you.