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How do you "discipline"
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<blockquote data-quote="Liahona" data-source="post: 536560"><p>I'm not sure if I understand the severity of difficult child's rages. Is she a danger to herself, others? Is the property damage enough to be causing big problems? </p><p></p><p>This is what we did when difficult child 1 was little (it started at age 4 - he could throw a chair across the room twice his size then.) We had to make a time out room. I would restrain him just long enough to get him into the room. Then he could rage and I would stay just outside the door. He would rage for hours. I didn't punish him for what he did in the rages. We did talk about it after he was calmed down. Sometimes he would draw a picture of what he thought started it. I learned rather fast the signs that he was escalating. Then I could calm him down and/or isolate him before the rage started. Now, after years of working on it, he has a cool down place (his room) that he can go to when escalating and sometimes he goes himself to his cool down place. It is still not a punishment. </p><p></p><p>He does get punishments for his behavior now. But, he has been through years of therapy. And, most his punishments are natural consequences. If you are mean you can't be by others. If you don't do your laundry you won't have clean clothes. You put a hole in the wall you and husband get to fix it. You urinate on the carpet you get to have plastic stapled to your floor instead of carpet. I've found the natural punishments are the only ones that really work with difficult child 1. Everything else becomes a power struggle. </p><p></p><p>I am also very good at not engaging while restraining and keeping my emotions in check. Not everyone will agree with me about the time out room.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Liahona, post: 536560"] I'm not sure if I understand the severity of difficult child's rages. Is she a danger to herself, others? Is the property damage enough to be causing big problems? This is what we did when difficult child 1 was little (it started at age 4 - he could throw a chair across the room twice his size then.) We had to make a time out room. I would restrain him just long enough to get him into the room. Then he could rage and I would stay just outside the door. He would rage for hours. I didn't punish him for what he did in the rages. We did talk about it after he was calmed down. Sometimes he would draw a picture of what he thought started it. I learned rather fast the signs that he was escalating. Then I could calm him down and/or isolate him before the rage started. Now, after years of working on it, he has a cool down place (his room) that he can go to when escalating and sometimes he goes himself to his cool down place. It is still not a punishment. He does get punishments for his behavior now. But, he has been through years of therapy. And, most his punishments are natural consequences. If you are mean you can't be by others. If you don't do your laundry you won't have clean clothes. You put a hole in the wall you and husband get to fix it. You urinate on the carpet you get to have plastic stapled to your floor instead of carpet. I've found the natural punishments are the only ones that really work with difficult child 1. Everything else becomes a power struggle. I am also very good at not engaging while restraining and keeping my emotions in check. Not everyone will agree with me about the time out room. [/QUOTE]
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