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How do you "discipline"
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 536570" data-attributes="member: 805"><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I believe in identifying triggers - it's what made a positive difference for my difficult child, especially at school. Avoiding the triggers was not our goal. Teaching him to handle the triggers was. If I were try to remove the triggers or avoid the triggers he would never learn how to handle what life is going to eventually throw at him. There were even times, when he was much younger, that I would intentionally push buttons to have a teaching moment. What would happen as he grew and I were not around to identify a trigger and remove it? My goals when from surviving the moment, surviving the hour, surviving the day, surviving the week, then focusing on the future... </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">When we began to "expect more" from difficult child (once he had been in therapy for awhile, had a great IEP and BIP in place, etc.) you could see the focus on his face when the school day was over. He wold come out to the car and you could almost see his body and face totally relax. For about two years I didn't plan anything but going home right after school because he needed about 30 minutes or so to just "chillax". You could just feel the effort he was putting into holding it together. This was in elementary school.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I think what is important is perhaps a safe place to rage if that is possible. I also don't believe in punishment for a rage. Someone mentioned natural consequences and I'm a fan of that. I would't punish for the actual rage, but I would, once difficult child is calm, expect her to contribute to whatever the aftermath is. It's hard to tell you to disengage when she's at her worse but it's what you need to survive. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I hope some positive progress is quick in coming!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Sharon</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 536570, member: 805"] [FONT=comic sans ms][SIZE=3]I believe in identifying triggers - it's what made a positive difference for my difficult child, especially at school. Avoiding the triggers was not our goal. Teaching him to handle the triggers was. If I were try to remove the triggers or avoid the triggers he would never learn how to handle what life is going to eventually throw at him. There were even times, when he was much younger, that I would intentionally push buttons to have a teaching moment. What would happen as he grew and I were not around to identify a trigger and remove it? My goals when from surviving the moment, surviving the hour, surviving the day, surviving the week, then focusing on the future... When we began to "expect more" from difficult child (once he had been in therapy for awhile, had a great IEP and BIP in place, etc.) you could see the focus on his face when the school day was over. He wold come out to the car and you could almost see his body and face totally relax. For about two years I didn't plan anything but going home right after school because he needed about 30 minutes or so to just "chillax". You could just feel the effort he was putting into holding it together. This was in elementary school. I think what is important is perhaps a safe place to rage if that is possible. I also don't believe in punishment for a rage. Someone mentioned natural consequences and I'm a fan of that. I would't punish for the actual rage, but I would, once difficult child is calm, expect her to contribute to whatever the aftermath is. It's hard to tell you to disengage when she's at her worse but it's what you need to survive. I hope some positive progress is quick in coming! Sharon [/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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