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How do you "discipline"
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<blockquote data-quote="bigbear11" data-source="post: 536747"><p>All of you are such a blessing... it is so very nice to be able to really "talk" to other parents who have been there done that. When I talk with other friends or family about this, they certainly mean well but have absolutely no clue as to what this is really like.</p><p></p><p>So, I'll try to respond to some of your comments/questions... </p><p></p><p>Tedo - We haven't been able to ID a cause for many of the rages. Yes, we know that when we go on a trip (either leaving her or taking with us) the stress can precipitate something prior to and on return. But your average rages... we have no clue. And I agree that is the key to helping her learn how to deal with it. </p><p></p><p>Keista - she hasn't used her "closet" or anything since new year. That has been what is so frustrating. When do see her escalating and try to say something gently about going for a walk or doing something to calm down... its "I hate you... shutup" and coming to hit us or throwing the remote control at the TV. That was what I meant about not trying to control (but as Insane said- granted I can't truly gage how much effort she is putting in). Obviously we aren't catching it in time.</p><p></p><p>Liahona - yes she is a danger to us... certainly getting worse as she gets older and stronger. She can bites hard enough to bring blood and has pulled hair out of my head (very different from just pulling hair). She also will bang her head (only time she does it and not all the time) on the floor/wall whatever in a rage... very hard. We try to talk afterward but it is hard for her to tell us what caused her to get so upset. She will say things like... "next time tell me to go to the closet" yea well that doesn't work. </p><p></p><p>Malika - I agree that she is now dealing with the choices of her birth mother and whatever might have happened in her first yr of life. That is not her fault. I want her to know how much we love her.</p><p></p><p>Little Dudes Mom - we are working on the triggers... has been very hard to identify. You are right, I have to be able to disengage</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bigbear11, post: 536747"] All of you are such a blessing... it is so very nice to be able to really "talk" to other parents who have been there done that. When I talk with other friends or family about this, they certainly mean well but have absolutely no clue as to what this is really like. So, I'll try to respond to some of your comments/questions... Tedo - We haven't been able to ID a cause for many of the rages. Yes, we know that when we go on a trip (either leaving her or taking with us) the stress can precipitate something prior to and on return. But your average rages... we have no clue. And I agree that is the key to helping her learn how to deal with it. Keista - she hasn't used her "closet" or anything since new year. That has been what is so frustrating. When do see her escalating and try to say something gently about going for a walk or doing something to calm down... its "I hate you... shutup" and coming to hit us or throwing the remote control at the TV. That was what I meant about not trying to control (but as Insane said- granted I can't truly gage how much effort she is putting in). Obviously we aren't catching it in time. Liahona - yes she is a danger to us... certainly getting worse as she gets older and stronger. She can bites hard enough to bring blood and has pulled hair out of my head (very different from just pulling hair). She also will bang her head (only time she does it and not all the time) on the floor/wall whatever in a rage... very hard. We try to talk afterward but it is hard for her to tell us what caused her to get so upset. She will say things like... "next time tell me to go to the closet" yea well that doesn't work. Malika - I agree that she is now dealing with the choices of her birth mother and whatever might have happened in her first yr of life. That is not her fault. I want her to know how much we love her. Little Dudes Mom - we are working on the triggers... has been very hard to identify. You are right, I have to be able to disengage [/QUOTE]
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