We had that thread in the general forum about forgiveness, and it is a definite that everyone has their own view of what forgiveness is. When I learned forgiveness, true forgiveness, my heart was literally broken of its bonds. I forgave Copper's father for coming into Copper's life exactly one time when she was 8 years old, for about 6 months, and then saying that he did not have time to be her father. There is NOTHING worse than seeing your child hurt.
Forgiveness is SO not about the person that you are forgiving. In your case, it is not about your mom, or your siblings or father. You do not know the circumstances surrounding what happened, and you may never know. Your mom is not losing sleep because you have not forgiven her. Neither is the rest of the family. The one who is suffering is YOU. Forgiving is NOT saying that what someone did to you is ok, it is letting go of the resentment and the hurt. Because it is eating away at you. Forgiveness is there for YOU. You can actually start by saying "there is nothing I can do about this. It is in the past. I need to let this go. God (or whomever), please take these resentments away." Do it every day. After awhile, do one better. Pray for the ones who hurt you. Keep doing it, even if it is through gritted teeth. One day, the pain just won't be there like it used to be...
One day, when asked about it, you will be able to offhandedly say "yeah, I don't really see my family" instead of "can you believe, I did NOTHING, and my mom, and she did this, and my brother, and oh my goodness, and even my DAD, and I did nothing to deserve this..."
You deserve to feel better about this. You did nothing to deserve it. Why should you be feeling rotton about it? NOTE: that does not mean that the offender should therefore feel rotton about it. This is not revenge. It is forgiveness. I mean, yes, there are a handful of really really evil people in the world, who do bad things just to do bad things. But we are not talking about them, we are speaking of your family. We don't know why these things took place. But there has got to be a reason. If it is being kept from you, perhaps it is a good reason. Maybe they are protecting you. It seems unlikely, but it is not unheard of for family to stop speaking to another in order to protect them from something. I don't know, and I am doing a lot of speculation, but all I am saying is there has to be some reason for this to have taken place.
And you may never know why. that has got to be OK with you. You have to be OK with God knowing the reason, and give him the go ahead to handle it.He's had a little more experience, after all.
I am sorry you are hurting over this. Please start to heal. It is up to you and nobody else.
(((((hugs)))) and prayers...for you AND your family!!
