Wow...you'd think we had an entire of army of therapists on board!! What great advice you have received. :bravo:
I had to forgive, but not forget the things my father did to us as children, and attempted to do as adults. It wasn't until I moved close to his mother (my grandmother) that I had some sort of understanding of his behavior to us. It was at that point that I had two options: 1) Keep hating and resenting him, or 2) Forgive him for what he didn't know and move on.
Out of 3 siblings, I have been the only one to do that. It's like an unspoken thing between my dad and I. He knows what he did...he knows he screwed up, but I am not willing to spend the rest of my life stewing on it. If he didn't want a relationship...fine. Oddly enough, as he has aged, he's become a quite good dad. I am sad that my siblings can't see this. It was such a sense of peace when I reached that point. It was like starting over with a relationship.
He's very ill. My siblings, I suspect, will greatly regret not making that step when he passes on, but you can't force someone to change their thoughts.
Abbey
