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How do YOU get over being wronged? Need help.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 73551" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I don't really know how to thank all of you. I had tears in my eyes reading such helpful and caring responses. Call me dumb (I do...hehe...just kidding, sort of), but it never occurred to me just how much this was influencing my life. I probably got stuck on the word "forgiveness." I forgave my mom way before she passed on and she knew it, but apparently she never forgave me. I truly believe that the root case was because when my grandmother passed away she left $5000 to my biological son and refused to let me split it between him and my two adopted kids. I took a tough stand. To her I disrespected my grandma's wishes (which I did) and my mother had the account in HER name. I told her I refused to take part in anything that reflected blatant favoritism. I felt it was wrong, and still do. I told her she'd have to give my son the money because I couldn't, in good conscious, hand over money from a grandmother that all three kids thought loved them--to only one child. It wasn't that much money anyways. My mom got aggressive about five years after my grandma passed and insisted on me giving her my son's social security number so that it could be in HIS name. She said something about how she didn't want to pay the tax on this money. I told her I wasn't going to tell her, that she and my grandmother made a decision against my will (I had talked to my grandma about this before she died) and that I didn't want any part of it. I guess I was being stubborn, but I knew how it felt to feel like sloppy seconds or even thirds to a parent. My mother called my son, then sixteen, and asked him for his social security number. He said he didn't have it and she told him to stop lying and called him a liar. He wasn't liar and he came downstairs really upset. I lost it and asked my fiance to call my mom and please tell her not to call about this anymore. I should have called myself, but I was very upset and in tears by then. At that time, she'd never met my future hub and she never forgave him either, although he was polite to her. She didn't come to our wedding. She DID finally send me the $5000 and told both of my sibs that she knew what I was like and that I'd spend it on myself. Where she got that, I don't know. She seemed to think I was a "taker" because sometimes my father, a Pharmacist, paid for my prescriptions sometimes and because my grandmother had lent me $700 once towards a car because our car was dangerous. So I'm a taker who just wants to get things from people. Anyways, I used the money to pay our taxes. I needed it, and I was sick of the $5000 by then and my son said he didn't care if we used it for that. My Mom never knew what we did with the money, but she spent years trying to talk about the money to my siblings, who both finally shut her down. But they never stuck up for me. Anyways, this is the story as far as I know, but I'm pretty sure I have the incident right. And I'm certainly to blame here too. I guess I could have done what my grandmother wanted. Funny thing is, I was my grandmother's favorite. And still she put me in a very awkward situation that I asked not to. And yet I still blame myself. Sorry that this was so long.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 73551, member: 1550"] I don't really know how to thank all of you. I had tears in my eyes reading such helpful and caring responses. Call me dumb (I do...hehe...just kidding, sort of), but it never occurred to me just how much this was influencing my life. I probably got stuck on the word "forgiveness." I forgave my mom way before she passed on and she knew it, but apparently she never forgave me. I truly believe that the root case was because when my grandmother passed away she left $5000 to my biological son and refused to let me split it between him and my two adopted kids. I took a tough stand. To her I disrespected my grandma's wishes (which I did) and my mother had the account in HER name. I told her I refused to take part in anything that reflected blatant favoritism. I felt it was wrong, and still do. I told her she'd have to give my son the money because I couldn't, in good conscious, hand over money from a grandmother that all three kids thought loved them--to only one child. It wasn't that much money anyways. My mom got aggressive about five years after my grandma passed and insisted on me giving her my son's social security number so that it could be in HIS name. She said something about how she didn't want to pay the tax on this money. I told her I wasn't going to tell her, that she and my grandmother made a decision against my will (I had talked to my grandma about this before she died) and that I didn't want any part of it. I guess I was being stubborn, but I knew how it felt to feel like sloppy seconds or even thirds to a parent. My mother called my son, then sixteen, and asked him for his social security number. He said he didn't have it and she told him to stop lying and called him a liar. He wasn't liar and he came downstairs really upset. I lost it and asked my fiance to call my mom and please tell her not to call about this anymore. I should have called myself, but I was very upset and in tears by then. At that time, she'd never met my future hub and she never forgave him either, although he was polite to her. She didn't come to our wedding. She DID finally send me the $5000 and told both of my sibs that she knew what I was like and that I'd spend it on myself. Where she got that, I don't know. She seemed to think I was a "taker" because sometimes my father, a Pharmacist, paid for my prescriptions sometimes and because my grandmother had lent me $700 once towards a car because our car was dangerous. So I'm a taker who just wants to get things from people. Anyways, I used the money to pay our taxes. I needed it, and I was sick of the $5000 by then and my son said he didn't care if we used it for that. My Mom never knew what we did with the money, but she spent years trying to talk about the money to my siblings, who both finally shut her down. But they never stuck up for me. Anyways, this is the story as far as I know, but I'm pretty sure I have the incident right. And I'm certainly to blame here too. I guess I could have done what my grandmother wanted. Funny thing is, I was my grandmother's favorite. And still she put me in a very awkward situation that I asked not to. And yet I still blame myself. Sorry that this was so long. [/QUOTE]
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