I had to quote this written by CJ because it reflects so much of how I view myself as an adult in relation to my deceased Father and my childhood.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">He never said he was sorry, he never repented, he never changed his ways. Have I forgotten him? No...though his horrible behavior shaped me in ways he never dreamed. I learned to stand up for myself, to face challenges, to not allow myself to be physically, verbally, or emotionally abused. I am a strong, healthy woman today because I wanted to never hear, "You're just like your dad."
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It reminds me of the song, "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera
(A great song, by the way, for inspriration to move past wrongs done against you). Here's the chorus:
I am a fighter and I
I ain't goin' stop
There is no turning back
I've had enough
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Thought I would forget
But I remember
I remember
I'll remember, I'll remember
Thought I would forget
But I remember
I remember
I'll remember, I'll remember
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
If people's personalities are shaped by experience, I sometimes wonder if I would be the same person if I had had a more nurturing, and loving, environment? My Dad, who was a lot like CJs, could be so very cruel to me. As an adult, I find that I cannot tolerate cruely of any kind in my presense. I also carry this into my work.
What I've tried to do is to take the negative experiences in my life and turn that into positive energy in which I might make this little blue ball of ours a better place because I was here.
This has been very healing to me.
