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General Parenting
How do you get past the day to day discouragement and live your life?
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 399419" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>It's perfectly normal to grieve the loss of the life you THOUGHT you were going to have as you accept the reality of what IS. You need to allow yourself the room to do that while you continue to take each day as it comes, one hour at a time if need be. There is no right or wrong about this and you cannot allow yourself to BLAME yourself for any of it. You WILL do the very best that you possibly can with the skill set you have, and as time goes by, you will learn new skills that will help you to meet the challenges that will inevitably follow.</p><p></p><p>As for difficult child's specific issues, I would focus on the most absolute critical ones for now. So anything related to personal safety I think would be a good place to start: drug use/abuse would be my priority. Everything else could probably slide until you get that monkey under control. When you feel you've got a firm grasp of that situation, move on to running away. Next could be boundaries.</p><p> </p><p>For any of this to work, you also have to make sure you are working with an accurate diagnosis and that ANY issues that are best addressed and supported with medication are done so and quickly enough to get to a therapeutic level. Because otherwise, you may as well try to empty a swimming pool with a teaspon. Everything will be harder. Therapy would be another important component to piggyback with the correct diagnosis and medications.</p><p> </p><p>And then the final ingredient is time, and understanding that there is no specific time table for milestones to be achieved, just that you will be continually working towards X and eventually you will reach IT and all the other points beyond.</p><p> </p><p>You are on the right path so far -- so hang in there and keep coming here!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 399419, member: 3444"] It's perfectly normal to grieve the loss of the life you THOUGHT you were going to have as you accept the reality of what IS. You need to allow yourself the room to do that while you continue to take each day as it comes, one hour at a time if need be. There is no right or wrong about this and you cannot allow yourself to BLAME yourself for any of it. You WILL do the very best that you possibly can with the skill set you have, and as time goes by, you will learn new skills that will help you to meet the challenges that will inevitably follow. As for difficult child's specific issues, I would focus on the most absolute critical ones for now. So anything related to personal safety I think would be a good place to start: drug use/abuse would be my priority. Everything else could probably slide until you get that monkey under control. When you feel you've got a firm grasp of that situation, move on to running away. Next could be boundaries. For any of this to work, you also have to make sure you are working with an accurate diagnosis and that ANY issues that are best addressed and supported with medication are done so and quickly enough to get to a therapeutic level. Because otherwise, you may as well try to empty a swimming pool with a teaspon. Everything will be harder. Therapy would be another important component to piggyback with the correct diagnosis and medications. And then the final ingredient is time, and understanding that there is no specific time table for milestones to be achieved, just that you will be continually working towards X and eventually you will reach IT and all the other points beyond. You are on the right path so far -- so hang in there and keep coming here! [/QUOTE]
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How do you get past the day to day discouragement and live your life?
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