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Substance Abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 502138" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>I'm coming from a slightly different persepective, but... Onyxx got violent. I "got there" <em>long </em>before husband did - but no legal rights as a stepparent.</p><p></p><p>And there were times she was such an angel. She still swears that we tried to put her in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) last spring when she was "being reallly good". Ahem, cough, Bovine Manure. She was stealing, still doing drugs, sneaking out, etc. but acting like an angel at home.</p><p></p><p>And then she did the unspeakable (accused someone of sexual abuse where it was CLEAR she was trying to deflect her own getting in trouble) and that was husband's final straw. He refused to bring her home. He agreed to pay for private foster care, but she could not live here. Her version is still he threw her out (she ran away) and she had to find somewhere to live (husband found foster mom). She used up her cred with foster mom and ended up in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - thanks to a great PO.</p><p></p><p>BUT - we will not accept her behavior anymore (even though she is a minor). And the fact is - if your son is an adult, he needs to act like one. He's not only using drugs, he's using YOU. By the time I was 23 I was on my own, car payment, rent, etc., and struggling horribly but doing it anyway. I'm an only child, and I could've stayed with my parents till I was, oh, 30 if I'd wanted to. But a "normal" adult needs to take care of themselves...</p><p></p><p>And... If you are wondering how to get to that point - you're on your way, sweetie.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 502138, member: 6705"] I'm coming from a slightly different persepective, but... Onyxx got violent. I "got there" [I]long [/I]before husband did - but no legal rights as a stepparent. And there were times she was such an angel. She still swears that we tried to put her in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) last spring when she was "being reallly good". Ahem, cough, Bovine Manure. She was stealing, still doing drugs, sneaking out, etc. but acting like an angel at home. And then she did the unspeakable (accused someone of sexual abuse where it was CLEAR she was trying to deflect her own getting in trouble) and that was husband's final straw. He refused to bring her home. He agreed to pay for private foster care, but she could not live here. Her version is still he threw her out (she ran away) and she had to find somewhere to live (husband found foster mom). She used up her cred with foster mom and ended up in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - thanks to a great PO. BUT - we will not accept her behavior anymore (even though she is a minor). And the fact is - if your son is an adult, he needs to act like one. He's not only using drugs, he's using YOU. By the time I was 23 I was on my own, car payment, rent, etc., and struggling horribly but doing it anyway. I'm an only child, and I could've stayed with my parents till I was, oh, 30 if I'd wanted to. But a "normal" adult needs to take care of themselves... And... If you are wondering how to get to that point - you're on your way, sweetie. :hugs: [/QUOTE]
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