Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
How do you get your partner to go along with CPS & calming down?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marg's Man" data-source="post: 183069" data-attributes="member: 4085"><p>Something Marg didn't mention that I think matters too.</p><p></p><p>Marg spends a great many of her waking hours with difficult child 3. So she gets LOTS of practice at 'handling' difficult child 3's behaviours, I don't. In addition I tend to only interact with difficult child 3 when he is effectively unmedicated. If I see him in the mornings, it is before his medications have kicked in (if he has even taken them yet) and when I see him in the evenings, the medications have worn off and both of us are tired from a long day. As a result even though I know, intellectually, what works, I am not as she is at good at putting it into practice. difficult child 3 often claims to hate me because he sees me as authortitarian and obstructive to his desires. He has a didactic way of continuing an argument even after it should have been finished and I often find myself in a situation where just blind stubborness (his AND mine) prevents any kind of satisfactory resolution of whatever the problem may be.</p><p></p><p>For example (of this sort of situation):</p><p>A constant argument we have involves the use of his Wii to access 'information' from the internet. This information is simply advertising usually in the longer infomercial format which is available as video streams (same as You Tube videos). These videos chew up a LOT of download bandwidth and we can only afford a smallish amount of download which must be reserved for schoolwork (he is home schooled and many of his lessons are on line) plus other things like email, Marg's access to this site and so on. Any video download must be carefully considered to see if we can 'afford' it this month.</p><p></p><p>I just can't make difficult child 3 see that his infomercials must come a poor second (or sixth or seventh or whatever). He is always trying to make me change my mind about the no video downloads rule but always seems to pick a bad time when I cannot discuss it with him. Generally this is just as I get home after being away from home for the last 12 hours (or longer) and Marg is trying to talk to me about other matters. Even when we do discuss it we just chewing over the same bit of gristle with no resolution in sight. My only defence then degenartes into stubborness because he cannot see the logic of my reasons. I said 'cannot' not will not' because he truly can't see it. No wonder Marg sees herself as needing to play peace keeper between us all the time. </p><p></p><p>I KNOW I am not handling him well but there is a very big difference between knowing it and actually achieving it. </p><p></p><p>Marg's Man</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marg's Man, post: 183069, member: 4085"] Something Marg didn't mention that I think matters too. Marg spends a great many of her waking hours with difficult child 3. So she gets LOTS of practice at 'handling' difficult child 3's behaviours, I don't. In addition I tend to only interact with difficult child 3 when he is effectively unmedicated. If I see him in the mornings, it is before his medications have kicked in (if he has even taken them yet) and when I see him in the evenings, the medications have worn off and both of us are tired from a long day. As a result even though I know, intellectually, what works, I am not as she is at good at putting it into practice. difficult child 3 often claims to hate me because he sees me as authortitarian and obstructive to his desires. He has a didactic way of continuing an argument even after it should have been finished and I often find myself in a situation where just blind stubborness (his AND mine) prevents any kind of satisfactory resolution of whatever the problem may be. For example (of this sort of situation): A constant argument we have involves the use of his Wii to access 'information' from the internet. This information is simply advertising usually in the longer infomercial format which is available as video streams (same as You Tube videos). These videos chew up a LOT of download bandwidth and we can only afford a smallish amount of download which must be reserved for schoolwork (he is home schooled and many of his lessons are on line) plus other things like email, Marg's access to this site and so on. Any video download must be carefully considered to see if we can 'afford' it this month. I just can't make difficult child 3 see that his infomercials must come a poor second (or sixth or seventh or whatever). He is always trying to make me change my mind about the no video downloads rule but always seems to pick a bad time when I cannot discuss it with him. Generally this is just as I get home after being away from home for the last 12 hours (or longer) and Marg is trying to talk to me about other matters. Even when we do discuss it we just chewing over the same bit of gristle with no resolution in sight. My only defence then degenartes into stubborness because he cannot see the logic of my reasons. I said 'cannot' not will not' because he truly can't see it. No wonder Marg sees herself as needing to play peace keeper between us all the time. I KNOW I am not handling him well but there is a very big difference between knowing it and actually achieving it. Marg's Man [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
How do you get your partner to go along with CPS & calming down?
Top