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How do you handle defiance/refusal to do things?
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 516291" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I understand. You're right--a huge part of it is accepting it for what it is. It will get better, but it will never go away.</p><p></p><p>You are very right to be concerned about your health. Do you do yoga or go for walks every day? You've got to do something physical to let off steam and stress. I would also have a dental appliance made for grinding. The money spent will be money saved in the long run, because having teeth pulled and replaced costs lots of money. </p><p></p><p>Are you on any medications for stress? Zoloft, lexapro, xanax? It may sound like you're giving in, but it's actually a lifesaver in many ways. Talk to your dr and ask his or her opinion and feedback. And tell them you are also seeing a dentist for the appliance so you can work as a team. (doctors love to hear that, and it helps in their notetaking so it doesn't look like they are totally drug pushers. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" />)</p><p></p><p>I am going to say what many others here say: choose your battles. Sometimes it will be okay for difficult child to go to a movie wearing his Pjs and no socks, and dress shoes. WTH. Sometimes he'll only use mouthwash but at least he stood at the sink and did *something*. But you've got to have some hard and fast rules and a way to back them up. For example, violence, weapons, drug use. NO use. NO exceptions.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child is using the XBox live for 20 min. He has done 2 tiny chores, and then we're going to plant a tree and do laundry and he will take a full shower. None of this wet-the-towel stuff. A real shower today. </p><p></p><p>You've got to have something to take away from him so you can give it back. Sometimes, that's all difficult child's understand. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p>But if you repeat the demands and make them routine--tooth brushing, for ex--they will eventually sink in. It's always at first that he will balk.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 516291, member: 3419"] I understand. You're right--a huge part of it is accepting it for what it is. It will get better, but it will never go away. You are very right to be concerned about your health. Do you do yoga or go for walks every day? You've got to do something physical to let off steam and stress. I would also have a dental appliance made for grinding. The money spent will be money saved in the long run, because having teeth pulled and replaced costs lots of money. Are you on any medications for stress? Zoloft, lexapro, xanax? It may sound like you're giving in, but it's actually a lifesaver in many ways. Talk to your dr and ask his or her opinion and feedback. And tell them you are also seeing a dentist for the appliance so you can work as a team. (doctors love to hear that, and it helps in their notetaking so it doesn't look like they are totally drug pushers. ;)) I am going to say what many others here say: choose your battles. Sometimes it will be okay for difficult child to go to a movie wearing his Pjs and no socks, and dress shoes. WTH. Sometimes he'll only use mouthwash but at least he stood at the sink and did *something*. But you've got to have some hard and fast rules and a way to back them up. For example, violence, weapons, drug use. NO use. NO exceptions. My difficult child is using the XBox live for 20 min. He has done 2 tiny chores, and then we're going to plant a tree and do laundry and he will take a full shower. None of this wet-the-towel stuff. A real shower today. You've got to have something to take away from him so you can give it back. Sometimes, that's all difficult child's understand. :( But if you repeat the demands and make them routine--tooth brushing, for ex--they will eventually sink in. It's always at first that he will balk. [/QUOTE]
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How do you handle defiance/refusal to do things?
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