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General Parenting
How do you keep feeling love after they cross the line?
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 419162" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>I am going to go out on a limb here and say something that probably won't be popular... First of all I understand these feelings of wanting to give the child up, over to someone else. I can only imagine how difficult this situation is. Some time ago when things were bad with my son - they have got better - I was fantasising a lot about one day asking my ex-husband to take him as I felt I couldn't cope. Not really serious planning but just a kind of idea that I talked to a couple of people about. And one friend said in a very matter-of-fact way, "He's not something you bought in a supermarket; you can't take him back because you've decided you don't like him"... And it is true. I could give in the towel but it would not be honouring the commitment I made to my son in adopting him.</p><p>Now I know a teenager being violent and aggressive and unruly is not the same thing as a pre-schooler. I know the incident with the cat is very serious. But, without condoning his act, why did he do it? He must be in some great pain or difficulty... Is there no way in which he can now be helped or is the only solution to give up on him? It does concern me, the idea of an adopted child being abandoned again... his life would surely be mapped out then - there would be little hope, I presume, of him ever coming over onto the "good" side of the tracks. </p><p>I am sure lots of people here would disagree, take issue with me. That's fine. And I am not in your shoes. But someone must also speak up for the troubled youngster that is your son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 419162, member: 11227"] I am going to go out on a limb here and say something that probably won't be popular... First of all I understand these feelings of wanting to give the child up, over to someone else. I can only imagine how difficult this situation is. Some time ago when things were bad with my son - they have got better - I was fantasising a lot about one day asking my ex-husband to take him as I felt I couldn't cope. Not really serious planning but just a kind of idea that I talked to a couple of people about. And one friend said in a very matter-of-fact way, "He's not something you bought in a supermarket; you can't take him back because you've decided you don't like him"... And it is true. I could give in the towel but it would not be honouring the commitment I made to my son in adopting him. Now I know a teenager being violent and aggressive and unruly is not the same thing as a pre-schooler. I know the incident with the cat is very serious. But, without condoning his act, why did he do it? He must be in some great pain or difficulty... Is there no way in which he can now be helped or is the only solution to give up on him? It does concern me, the idea of an adopted child being abandoned again... his life would surely be mapped out then - there would be little hope, I presume, of him ever coming over onto the "good" side of the tracks. I am sure lots of people here would disagree, take issue with me. That's fine. And I am not in your shoes. But someone must also speak up for the troubled youngster that is your son. [/QUOTE]
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How do you keep feeling love after they cross the line?
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