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General Parenting
How do you keep feeling love after they cross the line?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 419167" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, I've been there/done that with an adopted child who was dangerous. He ended up killing two of our dogs. When he was taken away, he was diagnosed with Severe Reactive Attachment Disorder. Frankly, even if he had other riders going along with that diagnosis, it didn't matter to us. he had also sexually abused our younger kids and there was no way we could afford to keep him around. He was a danger to all the pets and kids in the neighborhood and once they get larger than you are, there is little you can do other than call the police. You can not fix every child. This particular child of ours was too damaged and should not have been placed in a family setting. There are three big red flags for a budding psychopath/antisocial personality disorder:</p><p></p><p>1/Peeing and pooping in appropriately</p><p>2/fascination with fire/setting small or large fires</p><p>3/CRUELTY TO ANIMALS </p><p></p><p>You do not know what he may have done when you are not around. </p><p></p><p>Our adopted son who we gave up our parental rights for (the one who sexually abused the younger children) was questioned extensively as to why he did t he things he did. He truly could not answer and did not know. He was charged in court of sexual abuse to a minor and was convicted then spent many years in a lockup facility for young sexual predators, but, of course, was released at eighteen. I often wonder if he has killed anybody yet. He used to hold a knife to the throats of the younger kids and force them to sexually act out on one another and him...and, no, we didn't find out until he was gone. Love doesn't cure all...we had loved him and treated him with kindness...but he obviously did not really want that...he had already been too damaged before he came to us.</p><p></p><p>He did not shed a tear w hen he left. Mostly he liked what we could offer him...money and toys.</p><p></p><p>Do what you have to do to keep your daughter safe. With all due respect to Malika, who is a wonderful person, she only has one child to think about. You have more than one and that's where it gets dicey. Your daughter deserves to have a normal life. Your son may do best in an out-of-home placement where he has structure 24/7 and can not harm anything. It could be the best thing for him. </p><p></p><p>Big hugs and so sorry it has gotten to this point. I empathize...it is so heartbreaking.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 419167, member: 1550"] Hon, I've been there/done that with an adopted child who was dangerous. He ended up killing two of our dogs. When he was taken away, he was diagnosed with Severe Reactive Attachment Disorder. Frankly, even if he had other riders going along with that diagnosis, it didn't matter to us. he had also sexually abused our younger kids and there was no way we could afford to keep him around. He was a danger to all the pets and kids in the neighborhood and once they get larger than you are, there is little you can do other than call the police. You can not fix every child. This particular child of ours was too damaged and should not have been placed in a family setting. There are three big red flags for a budding psychopath/antisocial personality disorder: 1/Peeing and pooping in appropriately 2/fascination with fire/setting small or large fires 3/CRUELTY TO ANIMALS You do not know what he may have done when you are not around. Our adopted son who we gave up our parental rights for (the one who sexually abused the younger children) was questioned extensively as to why he did t he things he did. He truly could not answer and did not know. He was charged in court of sexual abuse to a minor and was convicted then spent many years in a lockup facility for young sexual predators, but, of course, was released at eighteen. I often wonder if he has killed anybody yet. He used to hold a knife to the throats of the younger kids and force them to sexually act out on one another and him...and, no, we didn't find out until he was gone. Love doesn't cure all...we had loved him and treated him with kindness...but he obviously did not really want that...he had already been too damaged before he came to us. He did not shed a tear w hen he left. Mostly he liked what we could offer him...money and toys. Do what you have to do to keep your daughter safe. With all due respect to Malika, who is a wonderful person, she only has one child to think about. You have more than one and that's where it gets dicey. Your daughter deserves to have a normal life. Your son may do best in an out-of-home placement where he has structure 24/7 and can not harm anything. It could be the best thing for him. Big hugs and so sorry it has gotten to this point. I empathize...it is so heartbreaking. [/QUOTE]
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