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General Parenting
How do you keep feeling love after they cross the line?
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 419381" data-attributes="member: 393"><p>wethreepeeps, you're not the first parent here who's trembled at the thought of your difficult child coming home. Unfortunately, there's no such thing as long term hospitalization (& very few affordable RTCs) to truly help our children stabilize & then navigate the socially accepted norms. </p><p></p><p>Having said that, many years back my husband & I refused to pick up our difficult child wm from this psychiatric hospital because he was a true danger in our home. Of course, we were threatened with child abandonment & all things connected with that. husband & I accepted that & didn't pick wm up. It took 6 weeks to find wm a placement in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) ~ he stayed the entire time in the hospital. We were never charged. The powers that be actually saw while wm was in the hospital for so long just how unstable he was (still is).</p><p></p><p>After that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) stay wm was placed in a therapeutic foster home & hasn't lived here for going on 5 years now. There is no current plan for reunification due to wm's unstable & uncontrolled behaviors, his threats toward his twin sister, his twin sister's ongoing issues from the birth home, etc, etc, etc. We are a family of different addresses.</p><p></p><p>Please find someone who will advocate for you & your family. I'm fortunate in that I have a strong team of mental health care providers for the tweedles; I fought hard to find that team & train them. I fight weekly to keep the team on track & to remind them this is a family situation, not just tweedle dee or tweedle dum. </p><p></p><p>I haven't a clue what LA has in place for children with mental health care needs; no clue as to your fiscal resources to find help for your difficult child. However, states don't like to hear publicity that there are no safety nets for families ~ children who have various mental/developmental disorders. This isn't the normal parenting as you know. </p><p></p><p>What are you able, today, to handle. Are you taking this time while your difficult child is in the hospital to recharge? Are you removing any & all items that may prove to be a threat to the family if your difficult child loses control once again? Before difficult child is discharged demand a crisis plan; make it plain to difficult child if A happens then B will happen. Let your difficult child know your line in the sand, whatever that may be. For wm, it was physical aggression toward any person/animal in the house. </p><p></p><p>Finally I'm sending you healing thoughts as you're gong through this ~ you're walking a tight rope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 419381, member: 393"] wethreepeeps, you're not the first parent here who's trembled at the thought of your difficult child coming home. Unfortunately, there's no such thing as long term hospitalization (& very few affordable RTCs) to truly help our children stabilize & then navigate the socially accepted norms. Having said that, many years back my husband & I refused to pick up our difficult child wm from this psychiatric hospital because he was a true danger in our home. Of course, we were threatened with child abandonment & all things connected with that. husband & I accepted that & didn't pick wm up. It took 6 weeks to find wm a placement in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) ~ he stayed the entire time in the hospital. We were never charged. The powers that be actually saw while wm was in the hospital for so long just how unstable he was (still is). After that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) stay wm was placed in a therapeutic foster home & hasn't lived here for going on 5 years now. There is no current plan for reunification due to wm's unstable & uncontrolled behaviors, his threats toward his twin sister, his twin sister's ongoing issues from the birth home, etc, etc, etc. We are a family of different addresses. Please find someone who will advocate for you & your family. I'm fortunate in that I have a strong team of mental health care providers for the tweedles; I fought hard to find that team & train them. I fight weekly to keep the team on track & to remind them this is a family situation, not just tweedle dee or tweedle dum. I haven't a clue what LA has in place for children with mental health care needs; no clue as to your fiscal resources to find help for your difficult child. However, states don't like to hear publicity that there are no safety nets for families ~ children who have various mental/developmental disorders. This isn't the normal parenting as you know. What are you able, today, to handle. Are you taking this time while your difficult child is in the hospital to recharge? Are you removing any & all items that may prove to be a threat to the family if your difficult child loses control once again? Before difficult child is discharged demand a crisis plan; make it plain to difficult child if A happens then B will happen. Let your difficult child know your line in the sand, whatever that may be. For wm, it was physical aggression toward any person/animal in the house. Finally I'm sending you healing thoughts as you're gong through this ~ you're walking a tight rope. [/QUOTE]
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