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How do you keep feeling love after they cross the line?
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<blockquote data-quote="Jody" data-source="post: 419737" data-attributes="member: 8787"><p>I have a 12 year old daughter who has ODD, Bipolar and ADHD. She is in foster care right now because I took her to the police station and did a lock-out do to her violent behavior. I was charged with abandonment and I do not regret doing it. DCFS is really doing a good job with her and have provided many services that I could not afford. SHe has been in care since July of last year. I go to court on Thursday. They are hoping that she can return to my home before the next school year. It is all up to her. I have her every weekend when she behaves, if she doesn;t she goes back home to the foster parents house. One weekend she went home twice, this weekend we had so much fun together and she was a real joy to be around, so much that I went and got her last night too. DCFS knows a good parent when they meet one, and I have always been a good parent, just didn't have the strenght when I got sick to parent a child with so many issues. Now that I am doing better, it is so much better. I had to have time to take care of myself. I also have a 18 year old daughter who is in college in Indiana. She is a easy child all the way but she had to go live with friends for the year and 1/2 prior to difficult child being put in foster care. We are very close, and have a great relationship, I just didn't want her to go thru all of the drama with her sister. It worked out for the best and while I missed some days with easy child, we had many more good days, and she was saved from the bad days. I can go get my daughter any time that I like. I do not need permission, this is because they know that I was not the issue and would never do anything to difficult child, they have been mostly worried about her hurting me. She is doing better. We do have counseling 3x's a week, she has her, I have mine and we have a session together. As far as the abandonment goes, the only problem that I have with that is that I won't be able to work in a daycare for 5 years, or teach elementary school, things like that. Guess what? After raising difficult child, I don't ever want to work with kids, those with disorders or not. You have to find out what your state laws say, but even then they will make it sound terrible so that you don't do it. With me they were encouraging me too. They really wanted to help my family and I have to say it has been a good thing for us. She is learning that she doesn't control things in my house. I am the adult and I make the decisions without any influence or pressure from her and that I mean what I say, also that I have options, I am not stuck with her crappy, abusive behavior. I have since learned how to get up in the morning and be glad that I woke up. I started to remember things that I never even had time to think about. The stress was leaving, and I have started to learn that life isn't supposed to be that way. Hang in there, I am praying for you and whatever your decision is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jody, post: 419737, member: 8787"] I have a 12 year old daughter who has ODD, Bipolar and ADHD. She is in foster care right now because I took her to the police station and did a lock-out do to her violent behavior. I was charged with abandonment and I do not regret doing it. DCFS is really doing a good job with her and have provided many services that I could not afford. SHe has been in care since July of last year. I go to court on Thursday. They are hoping that she can return to my home before the next school year. It is all up to her. I have her every weekend when she behaves, if she doesn;t she goes back home to the foster parents house. One weekend she went home twice, this weekend we had so much fun together and she was a real joy to be around, so much that I went and got her last night too. DCFS knows a good parent when they meet one, and I have always been a good parent, just didn't have the strenght when I got sick to parent a child with so many issues. Now that I am doing better, it is so much better. I had to have time to take care of myself. I also have a 18 year old daughter who is in college in Indiana. She is a easy child all the way but she had to go live with friends for the year and 1/2 prior to difficult child being put in foster care. We are very close, and have a great relationship, I just didn't want her to go thru all of the drama with her sister. It worked out for the best and while I missed some days with easy child, we had many more good days, and she was saved from the bad days. I can go get my daughter any time that I like. I do not need permission, this is because they know that I was not the issue and would never do anything to difficult child, they have been mostly worried about her hurting me. She is doing better. We do have counseling 3x's a week, she has her, I have mine and we have a session together. As far as the abandonment goes, the only problem that I have with that is that I won't be able to work in a daycare for 5 years, or teach elementary school, things like that. Guess what? After raising difficult child, I don't ever want to work with kids, those with disorders or not. You have to find out what your state laws say, but even then they will make it sound terrible so that you don't do it. With me they were encouraging me too. They really wanted to help my family and I have to say it has been a good thing for us. She is learning that she doesn't control things in my house. I am the adult and I make the decisions without any influence or pressure from her and that I mean what I say, also that I have options, I am not stuck with her crappy, abusive behavior. I have since learned how to get up in the morning and be glad that I woke up. I started to remember things that I never even had time to think about. The stress was leaving, and I have started to learn that life isn't supposed to be that way. Hang in there, I am praying for you and whatever your decision is. [/QUOTE]
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