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Substance Abuse
How do you overcome guilt ?
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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 739651" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>Hi Octavia, welcome. I’m in a similar situation as you. My son is also Bipolar. Sometimes the drug use brings on the Bipolar symptoms, but also often young Bipolar people will self-medicate with drugs/alcohol. </p><p></p><p>I think you are right not to let him into your home. Once someone shows a lack of control in a certain area unless they really think about it and decide never to go there again the chances are it’s going to happen again. From what you say he’s not in a frame of mind for self-reflection. My son reserves his nastiest behavior for me, but I have no doubt if his father was the one who housed him the most, put up with his bad behavior the most, tried to rescue him the most his father would then become my son’s main villain. So yeah, you probably shouldn’t go there.</p><p></p><p>For me the way I somewhat handle the guilt is by having a plan to support my son if he decides to get actual help for himself. The support I will offer him is along the lines of getting him to Psychatrist and Therapist appointments and paying any out of pocket expenses for them. Are you in the US? There are local mental health organizations that will help him with navigating Social Services, vouchers for partial rent payments and will try to steer him to outpatient programs and such. They will also help with short-term housing but I think only in the cases where someone is coming out of an inpatient stay at the hospital. Local branches of NAMI have what are called “Family to Family” courses. People who run these courses are family members of people with mental illnesses, you should be able to get information on any local resources from them. You could also check to see if there are any shelters locally.</p><p></p><p>The guilt still doesn’t go away. I bounce back and forth from anger at what he’s done to himself and how he treats me to guilt for all of the coulda/shoulda/wouldas that I don’t know would have made one bit of difference anyway. Right now I’m trying meditation for grounding myself so I can be more present and tame down the guilt ridden over thinking. Guilt is only helpful if it helps us to figure out what to do differently in the future. Guilt over the past, especially misplaced guilt, just keeps us stuck somewhere we don’t belong.</p><p></p><p>I’m sorry you’re in this situation. I hope he sees his way to realizing he needs to do something different and seeks real help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 739651, member: 22840"] Hi Octavia, welcome. I’m in a similar situation as you. My son is also Bipolar. Sometimes the drug use brings on the Bipolar symptoms, but also often young Bipolar people will self-medicate with drugs/alcohol. I think you are right not to let him into your home. Once someone shows a lack of control in a certain area unless they really think about it and decide never to go there again the chances are it’s going to happen again. From what you say he’s not in a frame of mind for self-reflection. My son reserves his nastiest behavior for me, but I have no doubt if his father was the one who housed him the most, put up with his bad behavior the most, tried to rescue him the most his father would then become my son’s main villain. So yeah, you probably shouldn’t go there. For me the way I somewhat handle the guilt is by having a plan to support my son if he decides to get actual help for himself. The support I will offer him is along the lines of getting him to Psychatrist and Therapist appointments and paying any out of pocket expenses for them. Are you in the US? There are local mental health organizations that will help him with navigating Social Services, vouchers for partial rent payments and will try to steer him to outpatient programs and such. They will also help with short-term housing but I think only in the cases where someone is coming out of an inpatient stay at the hospital. Local branches of NAMI have what are called “Family to Family” courses. People who run these courses are family members of people with mental illnesses, you should be able to get information on any local resources from them. You could also check to see if there are any shelters locally. The guilt still doesn’t go away. I bounce back and forth from anger at what he’s done to himself and how he treats me to guilt for all of the coulda/shoulda/wouldas that I don’t know would have made one bit of difference anyway. Right now I’m trying meditation for grounding myself so I can be more present and tame down the guilt ridden over thinking. Guilt is only helpful if it helps us to figure out what to do differently in the future. Guilt over the past, especially misplaced guilt, just keeps us stuck somewhere we don’t belong. I’m sorry you’re in this situation. I hope he sees his way to realizing he needs to do something different and seeks real help. [/QUOTE]
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