I am new here and hoping so much for help or guidance. My son is 25, was diagnosed with bipolar 7 years ago, and has slowly slid into substance abuse. Marijuana. He managed to get a University degree after his diagnosis ( he’s incredibly bright) but he’s been in a steady decline. He refuses medication. It’s an ongoing battle. He can’t hold a job. No longer even tries to get one. He works out all day or sits and smokes dope. I don’t allow it in my house but my ex does , so he is there most of the time. My son has become belligerent and mean. He wasn’t like this before at all. He is paranoid,and always angry. Irrational. His thoughts seem muddled. He doesn’t make sense. In a condensed version - he beat up his dad three nights ago and his dad put a restraining order on him. This is the first time he has hit him and it came out of the blue We are divorced but are on good terms. My son came here right after and for the first time ever, I turned him away. I was scared for my safety. He has never hurt me before. He has gotten angry with me ,but for the most part is usually fairly respectful. For some reason his anger and belligerence is usually reserved for his dad. He has no friends left. I am afraid he’s on the street now. I feel like I made the wrong call turning him away. Honest to God I just don’t know. I am 5 ft 5. He is 6 ft 5, and fit. I was scared. I’m afraid my turning him away has put him on the street and the guilt I feel is horrendous. I want to help him, but I can’t. I want to shake him and get him to see what he’s doing to his life. I want that five year old blue eyed angel back who would play Thomas the trains with me. I have always known that he might have to hit rock bottom in order to get better. I just pray that this is rock bottom. I want to go out and look for him. Tell him I will take him in. I also realize that this won’t help a thing. I have a good job and I need to get a grip to function at it. I just feel so damn sad, worried, guilty ....and torn up. I can’t believe that this has become my life.