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How do you regain a fresh perspective with difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 369414" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>Thank you guys so very much for just voicing out, it means a lot. You had so many good insigths that I am spending time thinking about.</p><p> </p><p>I'm feeling more calm now. difficult child is at work and we had some family over for coffee, cookies and board games after we caught supper at difficult child's work. Pleasant and simple but really refreshing to the spirit.</p><p> </p><p>I think that aside from my personal angst the hardest thing with difficult child is the cyclic nature of his diagnosis. He isn't one speed all the time so I am constantly caught off guard by behaviors because I like to convince myself positive stuff is more than it is. Still, over the past year we have inched forward.</p><p> </p><p>I have known I need to do more for myself for a long time. I used to be spoiled like that but life has shifted from that. husband farms part time and works full time in the ag industry. That translates to seasonal shifts into high gear with a few months of him gone for often 10 to 14 hour days and then farming in his "free time" aka weekends and evenings. Our hard to come by couple hours alone on Sunday can get skipped for weeks before we may run away to walmart for diapers as a consolation date. I'm amazed we remember each others names.</p><p> </p><p>During those long days I am 2 miles <u>outside</u> of a village of 270. I love taking care of the kids but some days by the time husband comes home I am beat to death. He is exhausted himself so fighting the baby diva who has hit her terrible twos for a bath, making dinner etc. etc. and forget about my own shower. I feel miserable. husband is worse off than I am so no reinforcements and then difficult child decides to pull a stunt. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/sad-very.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sad-very:" title="sad-very :sad-very:" data-shortname=":sad-very:" /></p><p> </p><p>Saturday husband took the kids to do errands for a half hour, he needed a break just as bad as I did. It was the first time I was alone in ages. I plucked my long since gone wild eyebrows and got to clip my toe nails ALL AT ONCE. I felt like I won the lottery. Something so simple was a blessing. lol Then I soaked in the tub and almost had to pinch myself. I got to shave my legs and do my make up too. It will seriously be another 6 months before I get the time to do all of those things in one glorious sitting. </p><p> </p><p>Kind of makes me laugh and cringe when I see a soccer mom whine about fitting in a manicure and hair frosting between her pilates and lunch date. </p><p> </p><p>No pity party for me. Just wish I could spoil myself. Forget about the "normal" ways to deal with stress. difficult child and baby are in the same terrible twos stage, one just has better language skills. It is actualy hysterical how much they act alike...<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p> </p><p>Tomorrow husband and I go to hopefully get difficult child his "adult in training bachelor pad" a travel trailer to park in the back yard. Now he can deal with his own mess and has to check his attitude at the door if he wants to "visit"! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> He is very excited and looking forward to planning his shopping on the grocery budget I allow him. Monster energy drinks taste on a generic kool-aid budget. ha ha ha ha ha</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 369414, member: 8617"] Thank you guys so very much for just voicing out, it means a lot. You had so many good insigths that I am spending time thinking about. I'm feeling more calm now. difficult child is at work and we had some family over for coffee, cookies and board games after we caught supper at difficult child's work. Pleasant and simple but really refreshing to the spirit. I think that aside from my personal angst the hardest thing with difficult child is the cyclic nature of his diagnosis. He isn't one speed all the time so I am constantly caught off guard by behaviors because I like to convince myself positive stuff is more than it is. Still, over the past year we have inched forward. I have known I need to do more for myself for a long time. I used to be spoiled like that but life has shifted from that. husband farms part time and works full time in the ag industry. That translates to seasonal shifts into high gear with a few months of him gone for often 10 to 14 hour days and then farming in his "free time" aka weekends and evenings. Our hard to come by couple hours alone on Sunday can get skipped for weeks before we may run away to walmart for diapers as a consolation date. I'm amazed we remember each others names. During those long days I am 2 miles [U]outside[/U] of a village of 270. I love taking care of the kids but some days by the time husband comes home I am beat to death. He is exhausted himself so fighting the baby diva who has hit her terrible twos for a bath, making dinner etc. etc. and forget about my own shower. I feel miserable. husband is worse off than I am so no reinforcements and then difficult child decides to pull a stunt. :sad-very: Saturday husband took the kids to do errands for a half hour, he needed a break just as bad as I did. It was the first time I was alone in ages. I plucked my long since gone wild eyebrows and got to clip my toe nails ALL AT ONCE. I felt like I won the lottery. Something so simple was a blessing. lol Then I soaked in the tub and almost had to pinch myself. I got to shave my legs and do my make up too. It will seriously be another 6 months before I get the time to do all of those things in one glorious sitting. Kind of makes me laugh and cringe when I see a soccer mom whine about fitting in a manicure and hair frosting between her pilates and lunch date. No pity party for me. Just wish I could spoil myself. Forget about the "normal" ways to deal with stress. difficult child and baby are in the same terrible twos stage, one just has better language skills. It is actualy hysterical how much they act alike...:happy: Tomorrow husband and I go to hopefully get difficult child his "adult in training bachelor pad" a travel trailer to park in the back yard. Now he can deal with his own mess and has to check his attitude at the door if he wants to "visit"! :winking: He is very excited and looking forward to planning his shopping on the grocery budget I allow him. Monster energy drinks taste on a generic kool-aid budget. ha ha ha ha ha [/QUOTE]
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