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General Parenting
How do YOU stay calm in a difficult child meltdown
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 100497" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>My daughter used to be very good at pushing my buttons. I'd try to not blow up and lose it anyway. Then I quit trying because I'd lose it anyway. It took a lot of effort but here are some of the things that ultimately worked to stop me (at least most of the time):</p><p></p><p>Slow, deep breaths. </p><p></p><p>I would not respond to anything -- good or bad -- until I counted to 3. It became such an ingrained habit that it helped when I was ready to explode because by the count of 3 some of the steam had dissipated.</p><p></p><p>I would imagine her in extremely comical positions or her face frozen in the SCREAM. I'd do my best to not laugh out loud but it was awfully hard to take her seriously when I saw her as a caricture of herself.</p><p></p><p>If she was still pushing my buttons, I'd imagine her tarred and feathered or in stocks, which is what would have happened way back when for her behavior and comments. I admit to being the first to throw the rotten fruit at her in my mind.</p><p></p><p>I'd try to walk away. This was the hardest one because she'd follow me as much as she could and keep up the verbal assault. Once she was old enough to be left alone, I'd get in the car and just leave. If there was any damage done while I was gone (which did happen on occasion), I'd simply tell her to clean it up and figure out what she planned to sell to pay for the necessary repairs. After paying through the nose a few times, she quit damaging the house while I was gone. </p><p></p><p>So, stopping before I responded, lots of humor and flat out running away when absolutely necessary are what worked/s for me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 100497, member: 3626"] My daughter used to be very good at pushing my buttons. I'd try to not blow up and lose it anyway. Then I quit trying because I'd lose it anyway. It took a lot of effort but here are some of the things that ultimately worked to stop me (at least most of the time): Slow, deep breaths. I would not respond to anything -- good or bad -- until I counted to 3. It became such an ingrained habit that it helped when I was ready to explode because by the count of 3 some of the steam had dissipated. I would imagine her in extremely comical positions or her face frozen in the SCREAM. I'd do my best to not laugh out loud but it was awfully hard to take her seriously when I saw her as a caricture of herself. If she was still pushing my buttons, I'd imagine her tarred and feathered or in stocks, which is what would have happened way back when for her behavior and comments. I admit to being the first to throw the rotten fruit at her in my mind. I'd try to walk away. This was the hardest one because she'd follow me as much as she could and keep up the verbal assault. Once she was old enough to be left alone, I'd get in the car and just leave. If there was any damage done while I was gone (which did happen on occasion), I'd simply tell her to clean it up and figure out what she planned to sell to pay for the necessary repairs. After paying through the nose a few times, she quit damaging the house while I was gone. So, stopping before I responded, lots of humor and flat out running away when absolutely necessary are what worked/s for me. [/QUOTE]
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