Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SomewhereOutThere, Nov 25, 2016.
Hoping everyone is okay after the holiday. Love and hugs to all.
Hi SWOT...why is family so stressful? Online shopping today..hugs
I had a great day. I wound up celebrating the day with other displaced friends. My 20 year old decided he did not want to see me yesterday ( a girl was involved) fine by me. I actually did black Friday, and scored a laptop and a 55 inch HD smart t.v. for peanuts. It was not crazy or packed at the store, and going with friends made it really fun.
I am not doing well... I did fix traditional thanksgiving meals on Wednesday and Thursday. That part went well.
The tough part is my DGDs. My Difficult Child's. The difficult part just gets worse. I feel overwhelmed. Beaten down.
It's going to be a long weekend.
I am so sorry, k s m. Breathe. You can do this.
Mof, even loving family can be stressful in my opinion because we care so much.
Pasa, sounds like tons of fun.
We had Thanksgiving at my folks. Jess and my mom cooked. Jess did most of it, though she did let my mom peel potatoes. Jess loves cooking and she had a wonderful time. My brother was there, and his daughter was too. My brother had missed my birthday and J's, and I missed his, so we exchanged our gifts also, and that was fun too.
I am sorry that some of you had very stressful days. I hope that you can rest and recover in the next few days. I remember all too well what those very stressful holidays are like.
Ksm....Hugs....I feel your sadness. HUGS
Hard week for us. Hubby's mom fell Monday evening and broke her hip. Spent the holiday in the hospital, and was moved to a rehab facility today.
On a positive note, we had Thanksgiving lunch with my mom, and it was very nice. Tomorrow we celebrate my birthday.
For the first time we had no company and we didn't go anywhere. It was the best, no stress. We didn't have to consider others so we made the food the way we like...a well-done turkey and extra bourbon in the sweet potatoes!
I had no intention of going anywhere near the mall. I turned on the news on Friday at 7am, there was a shooting in the parking lot at Macy's 6am Friday morning, multiple victims. The newscaster was telling people to come on down, it's safe now, go shopping, yet he was standing outside the crime scene tape amidst blood and bullets. I live in a safe middle class neighborhood, the world is crazy!
I'm in a funky mood right now! Why is it so difficult? What's wrong with my daughter? How can she just write off her own mom. I've been with her through so much and now she won't speak to me.! What the heck! I don't know if it's because ii said no to signing for an apt. Or if it's because i told her how tired I am and how deeply her decisions have affected me through ther years. I'm tired of thinking about it and tired of talking about it. But she's my daughter and I love her and I love and miss my granddaughters. I Hate this!
But on the other hand sometimes it's easier not talking to her because she's not asking for help. I'm getting a break.
Mamacat, you are tinking like the normal person that you are. If she is borderline or leans that way her thinking is different. She can switch anyone off with no remorse and tell herself that you were never there for her, although you certainly were. It is her own twisted reality. Revenge is big with people who have personality disorders. They deliberately do payback and tell themselves it is deserved. Of cpirse we suffer, not them.
I understand feeling sad about especially grandchildren, but this is not your fault and it's the typical way many atypical thinkers behave.
I feel for your broken heart and hope you seek out therapy if you haven't yet so that you can learn to cope with the hurt
Many of us have had to and all I can say from my standpoint is that the grief get a better or did for me...and it IS grief. We adopted one child who chose to abandon us as an adult and it took two years for me to grieve and let go. Thankfully I have a great hub and other great kids. It helps more tham i can say.
I hope you have people too. Hugs and love.
I survived. Drove down to my mother's during daylight. My niece picked us up in her Ford 350 flatbed diesel, a truck best designed for hauling horse trailers (its primary use) and not people. Took A. and I to get my mother into the truck. I managed to get into it on my own only because it had a grab bar and foot rails.
We had our dinner, which was the usual overcooked turkey, and enough sides that I didn't have to eat the turkey. My mom was responsible for bringing pies, which were supposed to be pumpkin and cherry but turned out to be sweet potato and cherry. The cherry got hit hard. The sweet potato sat in all its lonely Southern Glory...untouched.
My newish brother in law (sister divorced and remarried a year ago August) was actually quite voluble and talkative, which rather novel. I suspect, since he kept running into their bedroom to top up his buzz, that he'd found the right strain for dealing with being around people and having to socialize.
My brother in law's brother spent the evening in his room drinking and never even came out for the meal. This man used to physically and emotionally torment me in highschool, he's now an end stage alcoholic that brother in law cares for, including buying his alcohol. I should feel some sense of schadenfreude, but all I feel is pity these days.
I found out today that their house, a tiny "cute" wooden house on a gorgeous, large lot, has NO heat beyond an ancient wood stove with jury-rigged ducting to a couple of rooms. It's not safe and not warm in the winter, either. They have no window AC either because the windows are all non-standard and they can't get ACs to fit them. So my sister, what price love? with her severe asthma, lives in this dump. Ugh!
Sister, whom I generally don't speak to, and I pretty much went through the motions during the dinner and the time my mother were there. When it came time to leave, my sister was to drive us back to my mother's, as my mother can not drive at night at all, and I can only drive well-lit roads, preferably major roads.
I cornered my sister and did what i could to verify she was sober, and off we went. We made it to my mother's, but it was a not a ride I care to repeat, especially as I was in the back seat and the seatbelts back there were non-functional. Better yet, my sister was driving with out her glasses...
Ugh...other than that, I slept on my mother's love seat, and mom got to see that my arthritis isn't an attention grab when I got up in the AM, as I could barely get off the couch.
Oh well. I'm off the hook until Channukah/mum's birthday this year. Hope you all had glorious Thanksgivings and at least something to be thankful for!
Had my daughter's dance recital, then drove down to see my adult kids.
Didn't do any Black Friday shopping (never do). I have specific items that I am getting everyone, so no guessing this year.
We left south Texas at 6:30 Friday night and got home at eleven this morning. Hubby drove all night, and he just laid down for a nap. His son will be here in an hour, so will have to wake him up for that. He is such a wonderful man! One of the greatest blessings of my life!
Better late than never...Jabber and I have had a nice holiday. From casino on Wednesday, lol, to church today. Thursday we had a nice dinner, just the two of us. Friday we decorated the church Christmas tree and otherwise stayed out of the maddening crowd. Yesterday was Jabber's big family thanksgiving. Other than a mishap with a broken plate that caused my contribution -the green bean casserole- to become inedible, it was a pleasant day without drama. Our son texted me some photos of deer grazing right up to where he was sitting, and we had a nice text-talk. Unfortunately, Jabber is not feeling well today (neither am I for that matter) but I got to church for the hanging of the greens, a special service we do at the beginning of advent.
It was a really nice change of pace...a drama-free holiday. I'm sorry you didn't all get to have one.
Today is my daughter's 45 birthday. I sent a text Happy Birthday ******. Received a reply thank you mom. I'm relieved she replied after 2 months. But, that's it for me. It doesn't feel like I want to say anything else. Just want to let it lie. I don't want to get involved in her life.
sometimes a few words are enough. Most times, more, and you wish it would stop!
Some more news about my daughter. My son also sent a Happy Birthday text. She replied that she is still in CO. She loves it there. Her boyfriend ( who is her ex husband)\alcoholic\abuser has moved there to be with her. They are both pot smokers. I don't know how long this will last, but I have no contact with her. She is obviously taking care of herself. That's good. I'm enjoying the peace and getting off the hamster wheel. I even put up a string of Christmas lights, I've had no interest iin Christmas for years. I wish I had the money back that I spent over the last 9 years taking care of someone who is very capable of taking care of herself. Well, at least the money flow has ended.
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