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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 163336" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>It has nothing to do with your parenting skills. I often find myself saying, "Why do other kids respond to my disciplining style in a positive way, but my kid just doesn't get it?" I try to stay positive but firm. I believe ODD kids do pick up on any tiny particle of confrontation and jump on it by opposing whatever it is. You can say, "Please place your glass of milk further on the table so it will not get bumped and spilled." Most kids will move the glass. ODD kids respond, "And why do you think I would spill? It is o.k. where it is at, I will not spill it." Or, "You mean like this?" as they purposely bump the glass. So for ODD kids, sometimes the less explanation the better, "Glasses need to be in front of your plate." (not just difficult child's but everyone's - that is just the way it is.)</p><p> </p><p>You most likely have stategies that would fit in easy child kids - that is what society teaches - you just need to look for that key strategy that will work for your difficult child - this board can give ideas and suggestions (we know every kid is different so will not be offended if you say, "that won't work for my difficult child").</p><p> </p><p>My input is to always stay as calm and posititive as you can. I am not very good at that - it is a daily trial. Anger just feeds into the moment and makes you appear not to be in charge which I believe really scares difficult child into staying in the ODD mode - if mom can't help, this is hopeless. They really are looking at you to find a way out of the moment so if you can resist joing them (my biggest challenge), it will help.</p><p> </p><p>My other input in the explanation department - the less, the best. Although easy child's learn from our explanations, our little difficult child's love explanations because it gives them more ammo to argue back with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 163336, member: 5096"] It has nothing to do with your parenting skills. I often find myself saying, "Why do other kids respond to my disciplining style in a positive way, but my kid just doesn't get it?" I try to stay positive but firm. I believe ODD kids do pick up on any tiny particle of confrontation and jump on it by opposing whatever it is. You can say, "Please place your glass of milk further on the table so it will not get bumped and spilled." Most kids will move the glass. ODD kids respond, "And why do you think I would spill? It is o.k. where it is at, I will not spill it." Or, "You mean like this?" as they purposely bump the glass. So for ODD kids, sometimes the less explanation the better, "Glasses need to be in front of your plate." (not just difficult child's but everyone's - that is just the way it is.) You most likely have stategies that would fit in easy child kids - that is what society teaches - you just need to look for that key strategy that will work for your difficult child - this board can give ideas and suggestions (we know every kid is different so will not be offended if you say, "that won't work for my difficult child"). My input is to always stay as calm and posititive as you can. I am not very good at that - it is a daily trial. Anger just feeds into the moment and makes you appear not to be in charge which I believe really scares difficult child into staying in the ODD mode - if mom can't help, this is hopeless. They really are looking at you to find a way out of the moment so if you can resist joing them (my biggest challenge), it will help. My other input in the explanation department - the less, the best. Although easy child's learn from our explanations, our little difficult child's love explanations because it gives them more ammo to argue back with. [/QUOTE]
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