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Parent Emeritus
How much "helping" is really enabling?
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 372646" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>I understand completely how you feel. In fact, with only changing the whens, wheres and a few whos, I could have written your post. </p><p> </p><p>My DEX is giving difficult child and Internet Dude rides from their hotel room (barf) to his house for dinner. His girlfriend took them apartment hunting (double barf). She called me to drive her apartment hunting and I said, gently "I'm sorry, no." She called again yesterday and said she wanted to see me. I told her that was great. Would I pick her up? Yes, but just you. Internet boy must stay put. Amazingly, she said ok. She's been calling all over the world asking for rides, asking people to cosign for the apartment .... I'm sticking to my guns. I will see her whenever she wants, but that's the only way she'll be in my car ... visits only. No rides to work. </p><p> </p><p>It is so hard to always be the bad guy. I know. You are doing the right thing and you are doing it well. The hardest part of being in this position is resigning yourself to the fact that you can't do ANYTHING about others enabling her. I wish I could duct tape my difficult children enablers to the cellar walls until she wakes up, but it's just not going to happen.</p><p> </p><p>Hang in there and stay strong.</p><p> </p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 372646, member: 9175"] I understand completely how you feel. In fact, with only changing the whens, wheres and a few whos, I could have written your post. My DEX is giving difficult child and Internet Dude rides from their hotel room (barf) to his house for dinner. His girlfriend took them apartment hunting (double barf). She called me to drive her apartment hunting and I said, gently "I'm sorry, no." She called again yesterday and said she wanted to see me. I told her that was great. Would I pick her up? Yes, but just you. Internet boy must stay put. Amazingly, she said ok. She's been calling all over the world asking for rides, asking people to cosign for the apartment .... I'm sticking to my guns. I will see her whenever she wants, but that's the only way she'll be in my car ... visits only. No rides to work. It is so hard to always be the bad guy. I know. You are doing the right thing and you are doing it well. The hardest part of being in this position is resigning yourself to the fact that you can't do ANYTHING about others enabling her. I wish I could duct tape my difficult children enablers to the cellar walls until she wakes up, but it's just not going to happen. Hang in there and stay strong. Dash [/QUOTE]
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How much "helping" is really enabling?
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