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How often do you feel "joyful" or "happy" ?
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 450955" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>This thread has reminded me of my last big bout with MDD. DD1 was just born. A precious miracle, since after 5 years of trying we started getting used to the fact that son would be an only child.</p><p></p><p>Despite KNOWING that life was good. Despite KNOWING that I did have joy in my life. Despite KNOWING that there was very little I wanted to change in my life, I felt intense despair, hopelessness and pain. After years of working through it myself I finally sought help. I think it was the worst it had ever been because after years of self help books, and self analysis and self therapy, I KNEW, logically, in my brain that life was an amazing gift, but yet I didn't, couldn't FEEL it - the pain was so intense that I just wanted to die. Since I had limited resources I went to a publicly funded clinic. Bad enough that it would be 3 weeks before they could get me in, but another 4 weeks after that before I could see a psychiatrist and get any medications.</p><p></p><p>At intake I was asked if I had to choose, would I choose medications or therapy? I explained my logic and my feelings, and said I would certainly opt for medications because I did not feel it was my thought patterns or unresolved issues pulling me down. The counselor, who first objected, seemed to agree after she heard me out.</p><p></p><p>So, <strong>DDD</strong>, if after reading everyone's thoughts, and the follow up threads, and you are WORKING on finding that joy and actually are finding those things that SHOULD make you joyful (at least temporarily) but that feeling still eludes you, please get some help. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>That doesn't mean you wouldn't benefit from some additional treatment/support.</p><p></p><p>It reminds me of the lame 'survivor' BS the counselor tried dishing me. I should be proud of myself because I had survived so far. Ah, yeah, OK. Surviving was the EASY part. Surviving WELL was a whole other story. I was tired of the constant pain (emotional if you haven't guessed) and the constant despair. Yes, life is hard, but is shouldn't be <strong>THAT</strong> hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 450955, member: 11965"] This thread has reminded me of my last big bout with MDD. DD1 was just born. A precious miracle, since after 5 years of trying we started getting used to the fact that son would be an only child. Despite KNOWING that life was good. Despite KNOWING that I did have joy in my life. Despite KNOWING that there was very little I wanted to change in my life, I felt intense despair, hopelessness and pain. After years of working through it myself I finally sought help. I think it was the worst it had ever been because after years of self help books, and self analysis and self therapy, I KNEW, logically, in my brain that life was an amazing gift, but yet I didn't, couldn't FEEL it - the pain was so intense that I just wanted to die. Since I had limited resources I went to a publicly funded clinic. Bad enough that it would be 3 weeks before they could get me in, but another 4 weeks after that before I could see a psychiatrist and get any medications. At intake I was asked if I had to choose, would I choose medications or therapy? I explained my logic and my feelings, and said I would certainly opt for medications because I did not feel it was my thought patterns or unresolved issues pulling me down. The counselor, who first objected, seemed to agree after she heard me out. So, [B]DDD[/B], if after reading everyone's thoughts, and the follow up threads, and you are WORKING on finding that joy and actually are finding those things that SHOULD make you joyful (at least temporarily) but that feeling still eludes you, please get some help. That doesn't mean you wouldn't benefit from some additional treatment/support. It reminds me of the lame 'survivor' BS the counselor tried dishing me. I should be proud of myself because I had survived so far. Ah, yeah, OK. Surviving was the EASY part. Surviving WELL was a whole other story. I was tired of the constant pain (emotional if you haven't guessed) and the constant despair. Yes, life is hard, but is shouldn't be [B]THAT[/B] hard. [/QUOTE]
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How often do you feel "joyful" or "happy" ?
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