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Parent Emeritus
how often do you talk to your difficult "child" now adult?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 737863" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I missed your thread. I am sorry, Nomad. I will look as soon as I am able, but want to respond back quickly, here.</p><p></p><p>I tried to become my sons payee several years ago. Social Security would not do it. My son and I went together. They said they strongly want individuals to be responsible.</p><p></p><p>That said: My son is NOT responsible. He prefers to be homeless and use all of his SSI for marijuana and other junk, than pay rent. He believes his SSI is for fun stuff, and perhaps, food. I went along with this with the hope he would learn. He has not. We will see now what he does now that he has no support or help from us. At all. No food. No loans. No emotional support. No nothing.</p><p></p><p>I am unsure if his is an issue of drugs or cognitive deficits or psychological or all of the above. He is of very high intelligence, but not too swift, if you get my drift.</p><p></p><p>It IS sad and frightening. My son has no other relatives. When I die, he is alone. I had so hoped he would get it together. On my deathbed, I do not want to be afraid to die. But that is a reason to go through this sadness and separation now. I need to let him go.</p><p></p><p>My son was the most loving child. We were extremely close. He is a kind person. It is if he has lost a psychological structure. Sometimes he looks like a waif or a ghost. I do not know what is going on. He has seen mental health professionals. They do not seem to come up with a very serious diagnosis. </p><p></p><p>He had a very difficult infancy. Abandoned into an orphanage. So it might be that. And the marijuana. Oh. How I hate it. The cops here just say: Oh. Its legal. Or it might be that his parents were homeless drug addicts. So there is that. But both birth parents had stable, normal parents. On one side, highly successful and affluent. On the other, decent working people. Drugs.</p><p></p><p>That is the best I come up with. That there is an emptiness, woundedness there, deep, that he cannot deal with. That we humans in times of stress revert back to the weakest link in our lives; the hardest time. And this is what has happened. I hope he has the ego strength to claw his way back.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 737863, member: 18958"] I missed your thread. I am sorry, Nomad. I will look as soon as I am able, but want to respond back quickly, here. I tried to become my sons payee several years ago. Social Security would not do it. My son and I went together. They said they strongly want individuals to be responsible. That said: My son is NOT responsible. He prefers to be homeless and use all of his SSI for marijuana and other junk, than pay rent. He believes his SSI is for fun stuff, and perhaps, food. I went along with this with the hope he would learn. He has not. We will see now what he does now that he has no support or help from us. At all. No food. No loans. No emotional support. No nothing. I am unsure if his is an issue of drugs or cognitive deficits or psychological or all of the above. He is of very high intelligence, but not too swift, if you get my drift. It IS sad and frightening. My son has no other relatives. When I die, he is alone. I had so hoped he would get it together. On my deathbed, I do not want to be afraid to die. But that is a reason to go through this sadness and separation now. I need to let him go. My son was the most loving child. We were extremely close. He is a kind person. It is if he has lost a psychological structure. Sometimes he looks like a waif or a ghost. I do not know what is going on. He has seen mental health professionals. They do not seem to come up with a very serious diagnosis. He had a very difficult infancy. Abandoned into an orphanage. So it might be that. And the marijuana. Oh. How I hate it. The cops here just say: Oh. Its legal. Or it might be that his parents were homeless drug addicts. So there is that. But both birth parents had stable, normal parents. On one side, highly successful and affluent. On the other, decent working people. Drugs. That is the best I come up with. That there is an emptiness, woundedness there, deep, that he cannot deal with. That we humans in times of stress revert back to the weakest link in our lives; the hardest time. And this is what has happened. I hope he has the ego strength to claw his way back. [/QUOTE]
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how often do you talk to your difficult "child" now adult?
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