How to approach someone?

[HereWeGoAgain]

It's probably none of my business.

I work in a cube farm. Nothing is private as far as phone conversations. As much as I try not to eavesdrop/overhear, I know that the woman in the adjoining cube has a major difficult child and could probably really benefit from this board or some kind of support group. (She probably has overheard quite a bit about my difficult child, too. My situation is common knowledge within my group since I stopped trying to keep it private and talked to my manager about it when I took a lot of personal leave days earlier this year.)

Right now she is on the phone with her difficult child trying to come up with money to prevent a car from being repo'd. I'm thinking, "Don't give her the money!"

Well, in spite of being in an adjoining cube, this lady is on the next aisle over and the occasion to introduce myself/chat has never come up. Our jobs are completely different so we do not interact about work.

I don't think it would be proper for me to approach her but I do feel like I could do a service by letting her know about this board.

Should I just MYOB, introduce myself and confess to overhearing/eavesdropping and say, "I know a great website where you can find a lot of supportive people", send her somethiong anonymously, or what? Any suggestions?

 

[flutterbee]

Well, you weren't eavesdropping. You can't help but overhear in that environment. I'm sure she understand that as I'm sure she overhears others.

I would tell her that you didn't mean to listen, but overheard her conversation and that you understand what it's like, blah, blah, blah. I would then offer her the website and tell her that you've found it to be a great place for support. She can take it or leave it; her choice. But I'm sure she would appreciate someone understanding. As you know, raising a difficult child can feel so isolating.

 

[hearts and roses]

If she's unhinged by your approaching her, at least you won't have to work with her...right?

I say go out on a limb and approach her.

 

[goldenguru]

I think I would nonchalantly lay the web site info on her desk and say something like "Sorry I overheard ... but check out this site. And if ya ever need someone to listen ... I've been where you are".

People are most always thankful for resources and for another human being who has been there done that.

It leaves the ball in her court.

 

[KFld]

I think goldenguru has a great suggestion. You could even put a card on her desk. Maybe one of those hallmark cards that you can usually find to say exactly what your trying to say and then just add a little note saying what goldenguru suggested.

I know I do much better in writing then approaching people.

 

[busywend]

I would caution you that it exposes you, too. It leaves you less anonymous here on the site. She will be able to see all your previous posts.

Just a thought to consider.

 

[Star*]

Ice breaker: Ask her if SHE likes what you're wearing.

Some people that are rather unapproachable can be approached by saying "Your kid sounds just like mine - and YOU still have hair you haven't pulled out."

I don't know that I would give her the website (stingy me) but YOU have to have a place to go that is just for YOU. If you work together and chat, and she comes here that's an awful lot of togetherness.

Before I would suggest anything or any books or places, I'd get to know her a tad - she could be just as dysfunctional if not more than the daughter and THEN what are you going to do?

Just a thought -
Star

 

[Hound dog]

I ditto Star right down the line.

I know you want to help her out. Who wouldn't? I'd be hesitant til I knew a bit more about her.

Hugs

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

How to approach her.

Tippytoe from behind.

Gently tap her on the shoulder.

When she turns around, have a scary mask on. Like a monster, or George Bush, or a vampire.

Go "AAAAAHHHHHHH" and scare the bejeebers out of her.

That will get her attention.




Then do what these nice ladies have suggested.

 

[Star*]

no no no....he said he wanted to get in the middle of her life....not into her piddle. NO scary mask.

 

[susiestar]

I think star has a very good point. My bro started reading the board at one point as evidenced by his telling my mom that I have no business raising a son when all I do is tell others about him. Not sure he meant, but that and a number of other things lead to me not posting for quite a while.

Be very very sure you want this lady, and all she works with, to know what you do and say here.

We will welcome her, but be sure you want to expose yourself this much.

You are a very nice lady. No scary mask. maybe a fairy princess mask??

Susie

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

busyw, star, daisy, susie -- good point all. Think I'll let it lie for now. I appreciate the suggestions, and if the occassion arises down the road I might use one. What about a Richard Daley mask?

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

You leave my Richie alone.