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How to choose between two children-help me please
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<blockquote data-quote="mamato3" data-source="post: 714405" data-attributes="member: 22015"><p>Lynn34, I am so sorry you are going through this. My 18 yo Difficult Child sounds a lot like your daughter. However, he was "diagnosed" with depression, but I feel like it is so much more, possibly bipolar. My son also goes into "rants" (possibly cycles) when he doesn't get his way. And when he is in a good place, he is one of the kindest, sweetest, most compassionate people I know. During these times, he also realizes that he needs help and wants to do what it takes. When he is in a bad place, he wants to totally give up, meaning he know longer wants to live, much less try to improve. He also barely passed high school despite being so darn smart. He told his therapist that when he thought something would be hard, or if he felt even the least bit challenged, he quit. He no longer paid attention or did the assignments. His binder was full of started, but not completed assignments that he refused to finish or turn in because they were not "perfect" and there was no way he could make them "perfect". My son also blames all of his "issues" on me--the things I didn't see, me expecting 'perfection' (I expect effort, not perfection), not giving in to each and every one of his desires, the list goes on and on...</p><p></p><p>Luckily my husband is still in the home and my younger child is actually too scared to push her brother's buttons. My relationships with my older and younger child, my husband, and my mom has all suffered tremendously and I am at the point now where I am ready to take my life back. </p><p></p><p>The idea of detachment is new to me. I've only learned about it a few days ago, but I feel like I have to start working on it. I owe it to myself, my family, and my son. As much as I want to, I cannot fix him. His father cannot fix him. His girlfriend (now ex) cannot fix him. He has to fix himself. </p><p></p><p>Sending big hugs your way!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mamato3, post: 714405, member: 22015"] Lynn34, I am so sorry you are going through this. My 18 yo Difficult Child sounds a lot like your daughter. However, he was "diagnosed" with depression, but I feel like it is so much more, possibly bipolar. My son also goes into "rants" (possibly cycles) when he doesn't get his way. And when he is in a good place, he is one of the kindest, sweetest, most compassionate people I know. During these times, he also realizes that he needs help and wants to do what it takes. When he is in a bad place, he wants to totally give up, meaning he know longer wants to live, much less try to improve. He also barely passed high school despite being so darn smart. He told his therapist that when he thought something would be hard, or if he felt even the least bit challenged, he quit. He no longer paid attention or did the assignments. His binder was full of started, but not completed assignments that he refused to finish or turn in because they were not "perfect" and there was no way he could make them "perfect". My son also blames all of his "issues" on me--the things I didn't see, me expecting 'perfection' (I expect effort, not perfection), not giving in to each and every one of his desires, the list goes on and on... Luckily my husband is still in the home and my younger child is actually too scared to push her brother's buttons. My relationships with my older and younger child, my husband, and my mom has all suffered tremendously and I am at the point now where I am ready to take my life back. The idea of detachment is new to me. I've only learned about it a few days ago, but I feel like I have to start working on it. I owe it to myself, my family, and my son. As much as I want to, I cannot fix him. His father cannot fix him. His girlfriend (now ex) cannot fix him. He has to fix himself. Sending big hugs your way! [/QUOTE]
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