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How to deal with guilt tripping
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 734551" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>A good book for you might be Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie. Unfortunately, the guilting will continue until you say a resounding NO. You're being held hostage by your ex daughter in law's brilliant manipulation tools, your grandkids. She can only do what you will allow. Boundaries are necessary. Most of us need support in learning how to maneuver through the boundary issues because we are spring loaded to want to help/love/support our kids. However, in many cases here, we have to let go of helping them, learn boundaries, learn to say no, no matter how many buttons are pushed..... and find out what it is that WE want. </p><p></p><p>Your daughter in laws comment about you somehow having responsibility for her moving is ludicrous, you are not being childish, she's being manipulative and entitled. How she has to move is her responsibility not yours. Plus she has shown you that she does not honor agreements. </p><p></p><p>If you aren't in counseling of some sort I would encourage you to seek that or some kind of supportive environment. This is hard stuff. Guilt is a weapon being used on you to get what another wants, it's abusive. Find support for YOU.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 734551, member: 13542"] A good book for you might be Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie. Unfortunately, the guilting will continue until you say a resounding NO. You're being held hostage by your ex daughter in law's brilliant manipulation tools, your grandkids. She can only do what you will allow. Boundaries are necessary. Most of us need support in learning how to maneuver through the boundary issues because we are spring loaded to want to help/love/support our kids. However, in many cases here, we have to let go of helping them, learn boundaries, learn to say no, no matter how many buttons are pushed..... and find out what it is that WE want. Your daughter in laws comment about you somehow having responsibility for her moving is ludicrous, you are not being childish, she's being manipulative and entitled. How she has to move is her responsibility not yours. Plus she has shown you that she does not honor agreements. If you aren't in counseling of some sort I would encourage you to seek that or some kind of supportive environment. This is hard stuff. Guilt is a weapon being used on you to get what another wants, it's abusive. Find support for YOU. [/QUOTE]
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How to deal with guilt tripping
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