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How to describe a nightmare
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 138749" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi there, </p><p></p><p>Sorry you had to come here too. However venting is part of the grieving process and you are going through that now. Death of your dreams is sometimes harder than death of an actual person. </p><p></p><p>You asked if there is a chance she will get better in 35-45 days. No. If she is an addict she will always be an addict and have to fight the feelings of self-medication. If she is Bi-Polar that is something that does not ever go away - it's able to be controlled through medication if she agrees to take it. Currently with deinstitutionalization of mental hospitals and giving rights to mentally ill people it tied our hands as parents. The courts and jails are over run with kids like ours. Sometimes jail helps - but not likely. </p><p></p><p>You did the right thing calling the police for her. It is actually the ONLY thing you can when they are that violent. I would push for a psychological evaluation while she is in treatment. Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s like the one where she is at stink. But be strong when she calls home begging to come home. Your best reply at that point is to keep it simple and say "Honey, I love you and when you are through with the levels of that program well talk about you coming home." Don't ask and don't tell if they (Residential Treatment Center (RTC)) gives you a discharge date. That sabotages everything. </p><p></p><p>Also get yourself into therapy NOW. You are going to have to be united in your home, thoughts, marriage and family rules as to what will and won't take place if/when she comes home. And what your Plan A. will be if she doesn't live up to those expectations. It's always wise to have a plan B too -But seriously - get into see a therapist. You CAN NOT continue doing battle with a child like yours and not get sleep and be ill. There are a lot of us here who have children who through their behaviors and stress have caused heart attacks, strokes. So you need a professional's help. Learn how not to buy into her lies. Learn how to walk away and say NO. She didn't get this way over night - she's not going to get better over night. </p><p>That's the reality of it here in our world. They never get cured, but they do get more manageable. </p><p></p><p>As far as the text and pictures.....pick up that phone and text back - Joan is not here - this is her mother - please do not call again. Or my favorite - Dude is not here, this is not his computer, this IS his mother he got into trouble and all transmissions /emails/calls are being routed to the police dept. It is amazing - how many little "hoochie" girls - stopped calling with one post on MY space. And my other little trick was to say on the phone at 12:43 AM - Dude? No he isn't here (sleepy voice) can I take a name and number for him to call you back? (get name and number) then the next time the young lady called I would use her first name and say JOAN - May I talk to your Mother please this is Dude's Mom = are you the one that called MY house at quarter to one in the morning? (click) Now she knows I have her number and her name. </p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry you have to go through this - it's just awful. Be strong - seek professional counseling so you can bounce your thoughts and emotions off a professional (or if you are like me sit for the first 3 sessions and cry your eyes out) and then regroup, formulate a strategy - and put it in motion. </p><p></p><p>You won't regret EVER making a battle plan, because sister - that's what you are in - a battle. So is your daughter so do everything you can to help her help herself. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 138749, member: 4964"] Hi there, Sorry you had to come here too. However venting is part of the grieving process and you are going through that now. Death of your dreams is sometimes harder than death of an actual person. You asked if there is a chance she will get better in 35-45 days. No. If she is an addict she will always be an addict and have to fight the feelings of self-medication. If she is Bi-Polar that is something that does not ever go away - it's able to be controlled through medication if she agrees to take it. Currently with deinstitutionalization of mental hospitals and giving rights to mentally ill people it tied our hands as parents. The courts and jails are over run with kids like ours. Sometimes jail helps - but not likely. You did the right thing calling the police for her. It is actually the ONLY thing you can when they are that violent. I would push for a psychological evaluation while she is in treatment. Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s like the one where she is at stink. But be strong when she calls home begging to come home. Your best reply at that point is to keep it simple and say "Honey, I love you and when you are through with the levels of that program well talk about you coming home." Don't ask and don't tell if they (Residential Treatment Center (RTC)) gives you a discharge date. That sabotages everything. Also get yourself into therapy NOW. You are going to have to be united in your home, thoughts, marriage and family rules as to what will and won't take place if/when she comes home. And what your Plan A. will be if she doesn't live up to those expectations. It's always wise to have a plan B too -But seriously - get into see a therapist. You CAN NOT continue doing battle with a child like yours and not get sleep and be ill. There are a lot of us here who have children who through their behaviors and stress have caused heart attacks, strokes. So you need a professional's help. Learn how not to buy into her lies. Learn how to walk away and say NO. She didn't get this way over night - she's not going to get better over night. That's the reality of it here in our world. They never get cured, but they do get more manageable. As far as the text and pictures.....pick up that phone and text back - Joan is not here - this is her mother - please do not call again. Or my favorite - Dude is not here, this is not his computer, this IS his mother he got into trouble and all transmissions /emails/calls are being routed to the police dept. It is amazing - how many little "hoochie" girls - stopped calling with one post on MY space. And my other little trick was to say on the phone at 12:43 AM - Dude? No he isn't here (sleepy voice) can I take a name and number for him to call you back? (get name and number) then the next time the young lady called I would use her first name and say JOAN - May I talk to your Mother please this is Dude's Mom = are you the one that called MY house at quarter to one in the morning? (click) Now she knows I have her number and her name. I'm so sorry you have to go through this - it's just awful. Be strong - seek professional counseling so you can bounce your thoughts and emotions off a professional (or if you are like me sit for the first 3 sessions and cry your eyes out) and then regroup, formulate a strategy - and put it in motion. You won't regret EVER making a battle plan, because sister - that's what you are in - a battle. So is your daughter so do everything you can to help her help herself. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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