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Parent Emeritus
How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 632451" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>End, they ramp up and try different tactics with us to get what they want. First they are sweet and beg us. Then they are angry and curse at us. Then they bargain with us. Then they lie to us.</p><p></p><p>They are amazingly inventive and manipulative.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is right where she put herself tonight. She is not on the street, breaking the law, stealing from people and taking drugs.</p><p></p><p>That is a good thing, End. Jail isn't fun and it is bad, but you know, I've learned that it must not be THAT bad. My son has been there 8 or 9 times in the past four years. One time he even chose jail over the less-restrictive workhouse.</p><p></p><p>That said something to me.</p><p></p><p>Maybe, just maybe, she will open her eyes wide, have a chance to think, and realize she never wants to go back there again.</p><p></p><p>Let her stay, End. She's off the street, and that is a plus.</p><p></p><p>You take care of you and your wife and those grandkids. Enjoy this respite. It won't last long enough.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. We know how hard this is.</p><p></p><p>If she gets out, the same stuff will start all over again, unless she has a true change of heart and has hit her rock bottom and is ready for hard work and professional treatment. Let the law take its natural course.</p><p></p><p>P.S. I hope you and your wife have sought out and found an Al-Anon meeting to start attending. That is the very best thing you can do for yourselves.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 632451, member: 17542"] End, they ramp up and try different tactics with us to get what they want. First they are sweet and beg us. Then they are angry and curse at us. Then they bargain with us. Then they lie to us. They are amazingly inventive and manipulative. Your daughter is right where she put herself tonight. She is not on the street, breaking the law, stealing from people and taking drugs. That is a good thing, End. Jail isn't fun and it is bad, but you know, I've learned that it must not be THAT bad. My son has been there 8 or 9 times in the past four years. One time he even chose jail over the less-restrictive workhouse. That said something to me. Maybe, just maybe, she will open her eyes wide, have a chance to think, and realize she never wants to go back there again. Let her stay, End. She's off the street, and that is a plus. You take care of you and your wife and those grandkids. Enjoy this respite. It won't last long enough. Hang in there. We know how hard this is. If she gets out, the same stuff will start all over again, unless she has a true change of heart and has hit her rock bottom and is ready for hard work and professional treatment. Let the law take its natural course. P.S. I hope you and your wife have sought out and found an Al-Anon meeting to start attending. That is the very best thing you can do for yourselves. [/QUOTE]
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How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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