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How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 632557" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>The uncertainty is difficult. It seems to be one of the components of this journey, to be able to withstand the level of uncertainty we all live in, and find ways to cope and in fact, thrive within it. Rarely do we know what is next. That's why learning ways to detach makes sense, so we are not continuously being dragged through life by another's choices. Yes, it can be scary. I am glad you'll be attending an Al-Anon meeting. Keep going a few times, give it a chance. I believe you mentioned NAMI as well, that's good, put yourself in as many supportive atmospheres as you can.</p><p></p><p>I think we can all relate to the waves of emotion you speak of and going ahead and being swept back. I think with some support, those waves get a bit smaller and we aren't crashing into shore continuously. Working in the yard is an excellent plan. Doing something physical helps to bring our minds back to a more neutral place and of course, brings in endorphins. You may want to continue with that plan every day, it helps a lot to keep busy and to keep up with exercise.</p><p></p><p>You may want to plan to get out of town with your wife too. As I mentioned before, my husband and I did that every Saturday and it was extremely helpful for our sanity and our relationship. I live about an hour from the ocean and that was our usual destination. There's something healing and soothing about seeing the vastness of the Pacific ocean, smelling the salty sea air, walking along the beach and letting all those emotions from the week dissipate into that vastness. I think the woods would serve that same purpose, or the mountains, some part of nature you can immerse yourself in.</p><p></p><p>We all develop a particular "tool box" of things that help us to stay balanced and healthy in the midst of these dramas with our kids. Support, exercise, physical work, getting out of town, prayer, meditation, yoga, reading books relevant to this path....... for me acupuncture significantly helps reduce stress, whatever you find that helps you to stay centered and feeling better. Don't forget the basics too, eating a healthy diet, sleeping well, being with friends, remembering to laugh and have some enjoyment of life, it can be easy to forget to take care of ourselves, which actually becomes one of the most important factors along the way.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can find a way to get some enjoyment out of today and all the coming days...............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 632557, member: 13542"] The uncertainty is difficult. It seems to be one of the components of this journey, to be able to withstand the level of uncertainty we all live in, and find ways to cope and in fact, thrive within it. Rarely do we know what is next. That's why learning ways to detach makes sense, so we are not continuously being dragged through life by another's choices. Yes, it can be scary. I am glad you'll be attending an Al-Anon meeting. Keep going a few times, give it a chance. I believe you mentioned NAMI as well, that's good, put yourself in as many supportive atmospheres as you can. I think we can all relate to the waves of emotion you speak of and going ahead and being swept back. I think with some support, those waves get a bit smaller and we aren't crashing into shore continuously. Working in the yard is an excellent plan. Doing something physical helps to bring our minds back to a more neutral place and of course, brings in endorphins. You may want to continue with that plan every day, it helps a lot to keep busy and to keep up with exercise. You may want to plan to get out of town with your wife too. As I mentioned before, my husband and I did that every Saturday and it was extremely helpful for our sanity and our relationship. I live about an hour from the ocean and that was our usual destination. There's something healing and soothing about seeing the vastness of the Pacific ocean, smelling the salty sea air, walking along the beach and letting all those emotions from the week dissipate into that vastness. I think the woods would serve that same purpose, or the mountains, some part of nature you can immerse yourself in. We all develop a particular "tool box" of things that help us to stay balanced and healthy in the midst of these dramas with our kids. Support, exercise, physical work, getting out of town, prayer, meditation, yoga, reading books relevant to this path....... for me acupuncture significantly helps reduce stress, whatever you find that helps you to stay centered and feeling better. Don't forget the basics too, eating a healthy diet, sleeping well, being with friends, remembering to laugh and have some enjoyment of life, it can be easy to forget to take care of ourselves, which actually becomes one of the most important factors along the way. I hope you can find a way to get some enjoyment out of today and all the coming days............... [/QUOTE]
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