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How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 632562" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>End, I do all of my own yard work---I call it "weed therapy." It helps me have tangible accomplishments quickly, makes me sweaty and tired, and gets me outside. Could I hire some of it out to be done? yes, but why deprive myself of an instant way---right outside my front door---of getting my head back on straight?</p><p></p><p>I also exercise five mornings a week---I run (okay, slow jogging! Lol) and I lift weights. It gets my day started off right and oxygen to the brain.</p><p></p><p>I go to at least one Al-Anon meeting a week. When I'm in "crisis mode" over my son, I go every day to a meeting. Meetings work wonders for me. </p><p></p><p>I have learned to live with a lot of uncertainty. I used to HATE not knowing and not being able to control a situation. In fact, I would quickly identify my options, make a decision and TAKE ACTION. That made ME feel better. </p><p></p><p>That was my MO for all of my life until I met the 40-foot-tall monster called addiction--first in my husband of 29 years and then in my son. There is no fixing, managing, controlling or problem-solving Addiction. Not going to happen.</p><p></p><p>For the first time in my life, I had truly met my match, and it took me to my knees. </p><p></p><p>I had no idea how to deal with my own life on a daily basis anymore. Everything looked bleak and awful and I was in a constant frenzy of upset, grief, anger, despair, helplessness and fear. </p><p></p><p>What would happen to my marriage?</p><p></p><p>What would happen to my precious son?</p><p></p><p>End, over the past 7 or 8 years, I have learned so much about life and about myself. I am still learning how to live in today, and live with, and ACCEPT, that all of life is uncertain. And that I can't control it. And that I have to let it go, and that I have to accept people just as they are.</p><p></p><p>It has been the hardest work of my life, and it still continues. </p><p></p><p>So, know that we are here with you. We get it. Sadly we really do. We know how hard it is, and I read your posts with understanding, empathy and compassion. Been there and done that! </p><p></p><p>There is hope, however. There is hope as you start to do things---deliberate things---to take care of yourself and your own emotional and mental state.</p><p></p><p>I am so glad to hear that you are planning on an Al-Anon meeting. End, when you go, open your mind and just listen. Then go back, no matter what. Go at least six times before you decide if Al-Anon is right for you.</p><p></p><p>Believe me, I didn't get it at all at first. Today, I count 12-step work as one of the greatest blessings of my life. </p><p></p><p>Have a good day today, and enjoy the outdoors.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 632562, member: 17542"] End, I do all of my own yard work---I call it "weed therapy." It helps me have tangible accomplishments quickly, makes me sweaty and tired, and gets me outside. Could I hire some of it out to be done? yes, but why deprive myself of an instant way---right outside my front door---of getting my head back on straight? I also exercise five mornings a week---I run (okay, slow jogging! Lol) and I lift weights. It gets my day started off right and oxygen to the brain. I go to at least one Al-Anon meeting a week. When I'm in "crisis mode" over my son, I go every day to a meeting. Meetings work wonders for me. I have learned to live with a lot of uncertainty. I used to HATE not knowing and not being able to control a situation. In fact, I would quickly identify my options, make a decision and TAKE ACTION. That made ME feel better. That was my MO for all of my life until I met the 40-foot-tall monster called addiction--first in my husband of 29 years and then in my son. There is no fixing, managing, controlling or problem-solving Addiction. Not going to happen. For the first time in my life, I had truly met my match, and it took me to my knees. I had no idea how to deal with my own life on a daily basis anymore. Everything looked bleak and awful and I was in a constant frenzy of upset, grief, anger, despair, helplessness and fear. What would happen to my marriage? What would happen to my precious son? End, over the past 7 or 8 years, I have learned so much about life and about myself. I am still learning how to live in today, and live with, and ACCEPT, that all of life is uncertain. And that I can't control it. And that I have to let it go, and that I have to accept people just as they are. It has been the hardest work of my life, and it still continues. So, know that we are here with you. We get it. Sadly we really do. We know how hard it is, and I read your posts with understanding, empathy and compassion. Been there and done that! There is hope, however. There is hope as you start to do things---deliberate things---to take care of yourself and your own emotional and mental state. I am so glad to hear that you are planning on an Al-Anon meeting. End, when you go, open your mind and just listen. Then go back, no matter what. Go at least six times before you decide if Al-Anon is right for you. Believe me, I didn't get it at all at first. Today, I count 12-step work as one of the greatest blessings of my life. Have a good day today, and enjoy the outdoors. [/QUOTE]
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