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How to handle a 'friend'?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 349867" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>If you are really concerned at what she might do with the informaiton you shared, then let the police know about this concern as well. Then if she does try this one on, kick the proceedings into higher gear.</p><p></p><p>As for what she might try to divulge about things you have told her - if she is looking increasingly like becoming a convicted felon, of what value is her word gonig to be, when it comes to besmirching you? After all, it's your word against hers...</p><p></p><p>But if it begins to look really bad and you're worried she could cause you considerable grief in your relationships, then pre-empt her and tell people yourself.</p><p></p><p>But frankly I wouldn't pre-empt just yet. It's quite possible that al lthe things you told her, she has either forgotten the fine detail or forgotten completely. People like that tend to be extremely selfish, and selfish people tend to not remember details about other people's lives - they're just not that important. If they're going to do damage, ti tends to be immediate, rather then delayed.</p><p></p><p>My 'stalker' from ten years ago caused me a great deal of grief until I worked out who it was. But it wasn't just me she was damaging, but a close friend of mine. She was angry with my friend because of a perceived betrayal, and part of her attack on my also connected to the friend who was the main one in her sights. I was simply collateral damage.</p><p>What she had on my friend - "she is having an affair with a married man" which was the news the stalker shared with everyone at church. Stalker was also upset because the "married man" (who was in reality separated from his wife, they'd been separated for years) had rejected a pass from the stalker out of hand. Lovely - make a pass at your best friend's married lover... because they were 'besties' at that time.</p><p>My friend could have denied the story, but it's not her style. Also, the stalker had a lot of credibility at the time, which your 'friend' does not.</p><p></p><p>In your case - I'd call the cops back and set the record straight, pronto. Then wait and see. You might not need to do any more. I suspect she will be too busy trying to extricate herself from the outcome of her own lies.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 349867, member: 1991"] If you are really concerned at what she might do with the informaiton you shared, then let the police know about this concern as well. Then if she does try this one on, kick the proceedings into higher gear. As for what she might try to divulge about things you have told her - if she is looking increasingly like becoming a convicted felon, of what value is her word gonig to be, when it comes to besmirching you? After all, it's your word against hers... But if it begins to look really bad and you're worried she could cause you considerable grief in your relationships, then pre-empt her and tell people yourself. But frankly I wouldn't pre-empt just yet. It's quite possible that al lthe things you told her, she has either forgotten the fine detail or forgotten completely. People like that tend to be extremely selfish, and selfish people tend to not remember details about other people's lives - they're just not that important. If they're going to do damage, ti tends to be immediate, rather then delayed. My 'stalker' from ten years ago caused me a great deal of grief until I worked out who it was. But it wasn't just me she was damaging, but a close friend of mine. She was angry with my friend because of a perceived betrayal, and part of her attack on my also connected to the friend who was the main one in her sights. I was simply collateral damage. What she had on my friend - "she is having an affair with a married man" which was the news the stalker shared with everyone at church. Stalker was also upset because the "married man" (who was in reality separated from his wife, they'd been separated for years) had rejected a pass from the stalker out of hand. Lovely - make a pass at your best friend's married lover... because they were 'besties' at that time. My friend could have denied the story, but it's not her style. Also, the stalker had a lot of credibility at the time, which your 'friend' does not. In your case - I'd call the cops back and set the record straight, pronto. Then wait and see. You might not need to do any more. I suspect she will be too busy trying to extricate herself from the outcome of her own lies. Marg [/QUOTE]
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