i guess i want to answer the title of your post.
my attitude is who gives a f*%& what anyone thinks. it is not about 'us' and our egos now it is about doing what is best for our kids.
granted that is easier said then done but really what does it matter what others think unless they are directly involved in the care of the child(i mean psychiatrists, teachers).
people are shocked about how open i have been about what is going on with-my son. truth be told i have to be cuz many of the other pta moms see my difficult child being put in a room or classrooms cleared. there is a power in letting people know what is going on and not caring about what they think. the hush hush of the Special Education system is good for privacy but just makes it that much more of a stigma!
if i were you i would look forward to her comments so you can turn it into a learning experience for her. don't get mad but inform. who knows maybe you can both take bits from each other that can help your difficult child and the clients she works with, Know what I mean??
take heart in that you don't have to have a difficult child to have people question how you parent!
