How to handle people that don't understand

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by loving2, Nov 25, 2007.

  1. loving2

    loving2 New Member

    [font:<span style="color: #FF6600">Comic Sans MS]I'm just so exhausted trying to handle my son. The mood swings are just so crazy and I don't know what to do. I'm waiting on help for therapy for him. I know people don't understand him or his issues. A lot of people I've explained it to, just don't get it. It's like they think he is just a child that misbehaves. I cannot always handle his issues and sometimes I don't know how to handle the meltdowns and the "craziness". I just need some place to look for advice. I'm in the process of tryring to get assistance for therapy. Our insurance is not covering therapy. I just get so upset when I see other people staring and commenting under their breath. My heart is just breaking for him. I know other kids can see that he is different and i have heard other kids his age make comments. In some situations and meltdowns he seems like he is only 2 and not 4. any comments or ideas or anything would help......[/font]</span>
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hi and welcome to the board!

    You probably will not get a lot of response today, it being a weekend. The warrior moms will be out in full force tomorrow!

    I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. There is not one of us here who has not felt the disapproving eyes of a stranger. The heck with them. We all have our own ways of dealing with them. some of us place our bodies (literally, physically) between them and our children, giving them our backside. Some of us look at them and gleefully ask them if they would like to help. Some go straight for the jugular and tell them to mind their own beeswax. You have to do whatever works for you.

    Me, I tell my child, loud enough for "miss thinks she is perfect to hear, that she is bothering "miss thinks she is perfect" and she needs to stop.

    Pick up a copy of the Explosive Child". Now. Great book. Good advice.

    Again, welcome. You found a safe place to land.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Well-Known Member

    Welcome L2. I'm glad you've found us but I am sorry you had to. Raising children such as ours is not for the feint of heart. Every single one of us understands the pain and pressure that is put upon you by friends, family, acquaintances & strangers when your child behaves inappropriately. The only advice I have is to save your breath when it comes to explaining your child's issues for those that truly need to know (caregivers, teachers, etc) and ignore the rest. You will need to develop a very thick skin because you won't have time to feel bad about other people's reactions to your child and your parenting style as you spend every ounce of energy you can spare to advocate and fight for him.
  4. Dara

    Dara New Member

    Welcome! I know how hard it is to handle the stares and comments and people shaking their heads in disapproval when your little one is having a major meltdown in public. Most days I can handle it and am more in get out of our way mode. Just know that this is a site where most of us get those looks and comments and we understand. This is a great place to vent and seek support.
    Our insurance doesnt cover our therapy either and it looks like your son and mine share many of the same isues.
    Just saying welcome and sending hugs your way!
  5. loving2

    loving2 New Member

    I think one of the hardest things for me is that a lot of my fam and friends don't seem to understand how frustrating it is. We haven't even told my father in law & mother in law of my sons diagnosises. It's like even if we tell them; it will just be issues that they don't understand or believe are "REAL" issues. Thanks for your support and hugs.
  6. Dara

    Dara New Member

    I understand that! My In laws have said that we are "lying" about his behavior so my brother in law said that is why they spend thousands of dollars on therapy and cover a lie?!
    It is hard when family and friends dont understand how frustrating it is to deal with this on a day to day basis!
  7. I'm going crazy!!!

    I'm going crazy!!! New Member

    I too as everyone else here understand about those stares and agree you have to handle it the best you can even if that means being a little rude after all staring is rude too so they started it!!
    I personally think you should tell you in laws and if they understand wonderful if not then they are gonna have to get over it. That is really up to you and your husband.
    My family does not understand with a very few exceptions. My mother because we use to live with her. My aunt, her husband and daughter because they use to babysit. My grandma because she's experienced a melt down. The rest just don't get it and think we are over medicating him lol and we think he isn't getting enough sometimes lol