My son was allowed a visit home for five days over Thanksgiving from his Residential Treatment Center (RTC)/group home. Despite being in the company of his neighorhood friends at home for part of the time when pot was smoked, he, surprisingly, walked away from it without any trouble, he said. This is supported by the fact that he was drug and alcohol tested immediately upon his return to the home on Sunday night and came up clean. In that respect, the visit home was a great success. So far, throughout his stint in Juvenile Hall and at the group home, he has been VERY needy for our presence. He has been allowed nightly phone calls and we have been allowed to visit him every weekend. However, his house is three hours away, so this has been difficult. Nonetheless, he seemed to really need our support, and we want to see him, so we've been making the trip every weekend. HOWEVER, here's the rub--when he was allowed the first visit home over Thanksgiving, he basically spent most of his time with his friends. He was very compliant about checking in by phone and in person every hour or so, had his friends over here for some of the time, was in for the night well before curfew, and, as I mentioned, got himself away from any marijuana and alcohol going on. We were happy about that aspect of the visit. So, understanding that he's had contact with us on a daily basis and every weekend but has had no contact with any of his friends in almost three months, we stepped back and allowed him to focus on seeing his friends. I must say though that it did hurt a bit. When he called after we returned him to the house, I told him that I had been thinking that, since he obviously wasn't as needy for his dad and me as he has been, based by how much time he actually spent with us over his visit, we could skip our weekend trips to his house and just wait for his visits home every other weekend. He was VERY upset and hurt that we wouldn't want to visit him every chance we got and appears to need those visits as much as he has done in the past. I feel that I'm acting out of some immature hurt feelings here, and I don't want to play games with him and add to the stress he's already under. He's a high-strung type and tends to get easily depressed, and I don't NOT want to visit him if it's going to mean that he stops trying to make progress. Yet, based on the amount of time he spent with us on his visit home, I'm not all that sure our visits are as important to him as he says they are or at least not important enough for a six-hour round trip every other weekend that usually involves bills for a hotel and eating out. I'm not sure what to do here in terms of what's best for him...any suggestions?