Thanks everyone!
I guess I understand that friends are more important to him now than parents, and even WE look good, given the circumstances at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). But, you know, they do lots of fun stuff at this place (IF the boys earn it...), i.e., going to the theater, amusement parks, major league games, etc., yet, so far, our son would rather us visit him when he has earned a day pass or even for an hour or two rather than partake in the planned activities. That is what made me feel us being there was very important to him.
As far as his visit home, I guess I felt that the purpose of the visit was for him to be in his usual and customary home setting and prove to himself, us, and the director that he can use what he has learned so far in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to function in a healthy, safe manner in his home environment. Although I REALLY wanted to ball and chain him to hearth and home, we decided that it would be better for him to be around his peers and exercise good judgement. He knew very well that, if he tested positive for anything, his visits home would end.
Now, whether or not he has actually bought into the concept that using pot and underage drinking is breaking the law and not okay, I have my doubts. But, at least he's learning that he has to follow the rules or expect a serious consequence. I guess, for now, if that keeps him on the straight and narrow, it's a good start.
Interestingly, he told me on the phone that, if it was important to us to have him home for more time during his visits home, we should tell him what we expect and "set limits."
