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How to handle this...
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<blockquote data-quote="TYLERFAN" data-source="post: 7024" data-attributes="member: 26"><p>Hi Camom:</p><p></p><p>The thing that hits me about your post is that 1(Your difficult child hasn't been in group home that long, it's not as nice as your home and he has noticed the difference...apparently.</p><p>2)Your difficult child although "did the right thing" about drugs and alcohol with his friends....He knew he would be immediately drug tested and possibly sent back, right? 3)You have to really try to get him to compromise on the visitations. Tell him that you love him and want to come as much as you can, however, it is a very long trip. Possibly you can go see him every other weekend that he is not home, instead of every weekend? He will have to learn compromise all through life. Finally, 4)You really have to wait until he gets home to be able to tell the real results of this group home. From personal experience I have learned that most of our kids are compliant while being "out of our home" at a treatment center or whatever.......The real test comes once he is home for awhile, the treatment center will be far away, there will be many opportunities to fall back in with his old friends......What he does under these conditions is anyone's guess. I'm not trying to be pessimistic here, and I am very happy your son is improving. I guess what I am trying to say is that from what I've seen and learned from others is that it matters greatly when the child goes back into the same environment as before. In my case, big disaster....but, how do you change his environment once he is home? Most people just can't move (usually it doesn't help) anyway. This is one of the biggest predictors between success and failure after Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and one that I have seen few navigate.</p><p>I pray your son continues to improve. There is hope, he is still so young. I wish you the best.</p><p></p><p>Blessings,</p><p>Melissa :smile:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TYLERFAN, post: 7024, member: 26"] Hi Camom: The thing that hits me about your post is that 1(Your difficult child hasn't been in group home that long, it's not as nice as your home and he has noticed the difference...apparently. 2)Your difficult child although "did the right thing" about drugs and alcohol with his friends....He knew he would be immediately drug tested and possibly sent back, right? 3)You have to really try to get him to compromise on the visitations. Tell him that you love him and want to come as much as you can, however, it is a very long trip. Possibly you can go see him every other weekend that he is not home, instead of every weekend? He will have to learn compromise all through life. Finally, 4)You really have to wait until he gets home to be able to tell the real results of this group home. From personal experience I have learned that most of our kids are compliant while being "out of our home" at a treatment center or whatever.......The real test comes once he is home for awhile, the treatment center will be far away, there will be many opportunities to fall back in with his old friends......What he does under these conditions is anyone's guess. I'm not trying to be pessimistic here, and I am very happy your son is improving. I guess what I am trying to say is that from what I've seen and learned from others is that it matters greatly when the child goes back into the same environment as before. In my case, big disaster....but, how do you change his environment once he is home? Most people just can't move (usually it doesn't help) anyway. This is one of the biggest predictors between success and failure after Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and one that I have seen few navigate. I pray your son continues to improve. There is hope, he is still so young. I wish you the best. Blessings, Melissa [img]:smile:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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