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How to just stay out of it...
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 676774" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" />You're right. I know you're right. </p><p></p><p>I think that part of the reason I react so strongly to his angst is...I didn't have anyone to do the "hold you when you cry" thing. I was a late bloomer. My first date was in college and there was no serious boyfriend until Law School. Mom was still alive at the time of breakup #1, but my dad was so ill I didn't, couldn't, talk to her about it. I went to my brother who literally said, "Gee sorry Sis. But I have a new girlfriend so I'm too happy to help." He was such a jerk. I guess I never has a serious broken heart until she died...and the person who held me when I cried then - serious boyfriend #2, is still a dear friend of mine. Jabber even likes him. </p><p></p><p>And...as it turns out. Well...all MY angst today was for nothing at all. He's happy again. He called and asked if I had any Tylenol and since I wanted to go to the store for wild rice anyway, I ran some over to him. All is well. He said their fight was "so stupid" and that she never wants to talk about their relationship so he ends up yelling instead. I told him that's no way to behave, which he knows. I told him he had to decide to believe her or not that she has quit talking to internet guy. He says he does. I said, "Then no snooping. You trust her or your don't." He just wanted to play flappy bird and she wouldn't give him her phone so he was an <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> and accused her of hiding something. </p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/eggonface.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":eggonface:" title="eggonface :eggonface:" data-shortname=":eggonface:" /></p><p></p><p>I HAVE to stop getting worked up about his damn life. He's just such an immature 20, really emotionally more like 16 if you ask me, and as much as I want him to not call mama, he keeps doing it. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sigh.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sigh:" title="sigh :sigh:" data-shortname=":sigh:" /> And he really has been trying so hard to live his own life...pay his own bills and, as best I can tell, NOT screw up his life. I get my hopes up for happily ever after. So totally unrealistic of me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 676774, member: 17309"] :hugs:You're right. I know you're right. I think that part of the reason I react so strongly to his angst is...I didn't have anyone to do the "hold you when you cry" thing. I was a late bloomer. My first date was in college and there was no serious boyfriend until Law School. Mom was still alive at the time of breakup #1, but my dad was so ill I didn't, couldn't, talk to her about it. I went to my brother who literally said, "Gee sorry Sis. But I have a new girlfriend so I'm too happy to help." He was such a jerk. I guess I never has a serious broken heart until she died...and the person who held me when I cried then - serious boyfriend #2, is still a dear friend of mine. Jabber even likes him. And...as it turns out. Well...all MY angst today was for nothing at all. He's happy again. He called and asked if I had any Tylenol and since I wanted to go to the store for wild rice anyway, I ran some over to him. All is well. He said their fight was "so stupid" and that she never wants to talk about their relationship so he ends up yelling instead. I told him that's no way to behave, which he knows. I told him he had to decide to believe her or not that she has quit talking to internet guy. He says he does. I said, "Then no snooping. You trust her or your don't." He just wanted to play flappy bird and she wouldn't give him her phone so he was an :censored2: and accused her of hiding something. :eggonface: I HAVE to stop getting worked up about his damn life. He's just such an immature 20, really emotionally more like 16 if you ask me, and as much as I want him to not call mama, he keeps doing it. :sigh: And he really has been trying so hard to live his own life...pay his own bills and, as best I can tell, NOT screw up his life. I get my hopes up for happily ever after. So totally unrealistic of me. [/QUOTE]
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