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How to know? disengage or help?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 657437" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>The reason you can't fix this is because it is out of your power. HE has to fix himself. That goes for anybody who is living a dysfunctional life. You can take care of one person and control that person...that person is YOU. Your son can control one person...that person is HIM...unless you get into his games and hand out free money and pay for his cell, his internet, his rent...when he is at an age he should be doing this himself. Often Difficult Child do not contact us unless they want something.</p><p></p><p>How often do they call to ask, "How are YOU doing, Mom? You feeling good? Your job ok? Dad ok? Hey, can I come by and mow the lawn or do anything for you?"</p><p></p><p>It's time to take care of you because by trying to care of a grown man, you make him into a child. Not good for you or for him.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and please take good care of YOU. THAT you have cotrol over. Maybe don't talk to your son that often. Many of us limit contact as half of it is just bs and the rest is abuse about how everything is our fault...in an attempt to gain guilty favors from us. It's not fair and you shouldn't want to go there anymore. You deserve better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 657437, member: 1550"] The reason you can't fix this is because it is out of your power. HE has to fix himself. That goes for anybody who is living a dysfunctional life. You can take care of one person and control that person...that person is YOU. Your son can control one person...that person is HIM...unless you get into his games and hand out free money and pay for his cell, his internet, his rent...when he is at an age he should be doing this himself. Often Difficult Child do not contact us unless they want something. How often do they call to ask, "How are YOU doing, Mom? You feeling good? Your job ok? Dad ok? Hey, can I come by and mow the lawn or do anything for you?" It's time to take care of you because by trying to care of a grown man, you make him into a child. Not good for you or for him. Hugs and please take good care of YOU. THAT you have cotrol over. Maybe don't talk to your son that often. Many of us limit contact as half of it is just bs and the rest is abuse about how everything is our fault...in an attempt to gain guilty favors from us. It's not fair and you shouldn't want to go there anymore. You deserve better. [/QUOTE]
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