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General Parenting
how to prepare for evaluation? and vent
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 363660" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I mostly said that about you being evaluated as a way to call ex's bluff and show the kids that you have their best interests at heart. I am sure the evaluation would show the results of the stress and would show that you are doing medications and evaluation etc.. because you love your daughter and only want what is best for her.</p><p></p><p>It is really hard for kids when one parent says awful stuff about the other, or interrogates them about what the other is doing. My bro does this to his daughter. Of course he says he is "gentle" about it and "only" wants to know if ex is drinking. I have a big bridge to sell too. It takes the innocence away from the child.</p><p></p><p>Sadly the parent that does this rarely takes responsibility for the damage to the child. Mostly because they are too selfish to see beyond themselves. </p><p></p><p>You need to be very gentle with yourself. Watch how you talk to yourself. It is super easy to internalize the negative stuff, esp if someone has been saying it to you for years. You know that you have your daughter's best interests at the heart of all you are doing. You want her to be able to feel loved, to trust, to be a happy person. When you find yourself questioning that, tell yourself that your friend Susie says that you are doing the right things for the right reasons. Sometimes we need to hear that someone else believes in us to begin to have faith in ourselves again. I find myself questioning my perceptions about things a lot, esp when my gfgbro has stirred things up in such an awful way. So I come here, post, and my friends tell me the truth. So I know how easy it is to doubt yourself. and how much it helps to know other people believe in you.</p><p></p><p>I believe in you.</p><p></p><p>As for the evaluation, why tell difficult child where you are going? Just have her get into the car. Maybe say you are going to get a coke and run an errand. get a coke and then go to the doctor for the evaluation. It IS an errand. When I knew Wiz would have a fit at going somewhere I did this. He fussed there, but not nearly as bad as if he had time to protest where we were going.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 363660, member: 1233"] I mostly said that about you being evaluated as a way to call ex's bluff and show the kids that you have their best interests at heart. I am sure the evaluation would show the results of the stress and would show that you are doing medications and evaluation etc.. because you love your daughter and only want what is best for her. It is really hard for kids when one parent says awful stuff about the other, or interrogates them about what the other is doing. My bro does this to his daughter. Of course he says he is "gentle" about it and "only" wants to know if ex is drinking. I have a big bridge to sell too. It takes the innocence away from the child. Sadly the parent that does this rarely takes responsibility for the damage to the child. Mostly because they are too selfish to see beyond themselves. You need to be very gentle with yourself. Watch how you talk to yourself. It is super easy to internalize the negative stuff, esp if someone has been saying it to you for years. You know that you have your daughter's best interests at the heart of all you are doing. You want her to be able to feel loved, to trust, to be a happy person. When you find yourself questioning that, tell yourself that your friend Susie says that you are doing the right things for the right reasons. Sometimes we need to hear that someone else believes in us to begin to have faith in ourselves again. I find myself questioning my perceptions about things a lot, esp when my gfgbro has stirred things up in such an awful way. So I come here, post, and my friends tell me the truth. So I know how easy it is to doubt yourself. and how much it helps to know other people believe in you. I believe in you. As for the evaluation, why tell difficult child where you are going? Just have her get into the car. Maybe say you are going to get a coke and run an errand. get a coke and then go to the doctor for the evaluation. It IS an errand. When I knew Wiz would have a fit at going somewhere I did this. He fussed there, but not nearly as bad as if he had time to protest where we were going. [/QUOTE]
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