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How to protect yourselve?
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 500642" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Oh wow lovelyboy, were dodging difficult child's at the same time on different continents? sounds like yours got a little more revved than mine did though. (but violence is never acceptable and clearly we both have issues to work on iwth them, sigh)</p><p></p><p>I agree that a good first start is with a psychiatrist. This level of frustration intolerance really needs to be addressed though and I am trying to figure out what that exactly means in our lives. We talk about it. I give him little challenges, waiting for things here and there with prep after going thru what he has to do to keep his mind calm etc. </p><p></p><p>We again this morning reviewed what really happened not at my request but he brought it up asking if he should have gotten upset about my knowing about what happened at the shopping mall. I said well, since it had NOTHING to do with you and all, ummm yeah kind of silly to get upset. He said, well I thought you'd be mad. I asked what about someone else having a problem and causing problems at the mall would have to do with you.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Here is the thing... he just assumed something was going to happen because the Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) called me. I mean, why else to they tell me things??? I finally got it that it was not about what happened there at all. It was just a panic that if someone calls me (which happens at school too) then it means he is in big trouble. The dumb thing is he is almost NEVER in trouble when people call me. but over the years he has always been set off by my being on the phone, assumes we are talking about him, the world revolves around him and he is always dodging bullets in his mind. Must be exhausting for him. So we are going to work on that perception BIG time since it is escalating. Still there is the bigger issue of when he worries not getting too carried away but at least for this issue which is a trigger frequently in many settings we finally have an issue to work on.</p><p></p><p>I pray you can identify some of the reasons he got so angry and I doubt it is simply he didn't get his way. It always seems like that on the surface but often it is that they have such a plan in their head about what they want to do that they just fall apart when it doesn't happen. That rigid thinking. could be other things but I find that with Q a lot. Have seen it in many many students too. It is a hard thing to work on. I hope your day improves. Ours today is better (it was friday here when it happened now is Sat and we are ready to go ride the horses).... with only one hiccup but he took a bath and calmed himself. also said yeay the pain is gone... but wouldnt elaborate which is always a problem because any little discomfort always contributes to ugly moments. </p><p></p><p>Let us know how he is. I hope you and hug and little one are safe and difficult child is calm today. Cant be fun for him either.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 500642, member: 12886"] Oh wow lovelyboy, were dodging difficult child's at the same time on different continents? sounds like yours got a little more revved than mine did though. (but violence is never acceptable and clearly we both have issues to work on iwth them, sigh) I agree that a good first start is with a psychiatrist. This level of frustration intolerance really needs to be addressed though and I am trying to figure out what that exactly means in our lives. We talk about it. I give him little challenges, waiting for things here and there with prep after going thru what he has to do to keep his mind calm etc. We again this morning reviewed what really happened not at my request but he brought it up asking if he should have gotten upset about my knowing about what happened at the shopping mall. I said well, since it had NOTHING to do with you and all, ummm yeah kind of silly to get upset. He said, well I thought you'd be mad. I asked what about someone else having a problem and causing problems at the mall would have to do with you. Here is the thing... he just assumed something was going to happen because the Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) called me. I mean, why else to they tell me things??? I finally got it that it was not about what happened there at all. It was just a panic that if someone calls me (which happens at school too) then it means he is in big trouble. The dumb thing is he is almost NEVER in trouble when people call me. but over the years he has always been set off by my being on the phone, assumes we are talking about him, the world revolves around him and he is always dodging bullets in his mind. Must be exhausting for him. So we are going to work on that perception BIG time since it is escalating. Still there is the bigger issue of when he worries not getting too carried away but at least for this issue which is a trigger frequently in many settings we finally have an issue to work on. I pray you can identify some of the reasons he got so angry and I doubt it is simply he didn't get his way. It always seems like that on the surface but often it is that they have such a plan in their head about what they want to do that they just fall apart when it doesn't happen. That rigid thinking. could be other things but I find that with Q a lot. Have seen it in many many students too. It is a hard thing to work on. I hope your day improves. Ours today is better (it was friday here when it happened now is Sat and we are ready to go ride the horses).... with only one hiccup but he took a bath and calmed himself. also said yeay the pain is gone... but wouldnt elaborate which is always a problem because any little discomfort always contributes to ugly moments. Let us know how he is. I hope you and hug and little one are safe and difficult child is calm today. Cant be fun for him either. [/QUOTE]
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