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How to stop enabling abusive narcissistic entitled adult children
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<blockquote data-quote="lotus" data-source="post: 763823" data-attributes="member: 31786"><p>Last night I finally took my power back - it was our one and only adult son's 49th birthday. We were lost at the mall looking for the restaurant. We are in our seventies. I called our daughter-in-law to ask directions she said don't you have a GPS in her smart-ass tone. I said forget it will find a way and hung up. I immediately called our niece who directed us easily no questions asked. We got to the table and instead of greeting I got I don't like how you talked to my wife you hung up on her. I said we were rushed and nervous. In the same tone and attitude he accosted. My husband said you guys stop fighting. I did not listen. For the first time I didn't burst into tears or feel guilty. Then my daughter in law starts texting (I knew it was to her confidant aunt) giggling then got a response and said look she was laughing he look at phone said oh yeah. Then I said isn't that rude? All hell broke loose. My son had the hateful anger looked like he could spit fire at me. He was quaking looked ugly very ugly. He went through a litany of accusations that I answered saying I am your mother you are not my father my dad died years ago. My daughter in law said you know what your going to do not be able to see your son. I am crazy with rage over this because she has manipulated me for 28 years. We just saw them once last year. My husband said daughter in law eyes were like saucers in disbelief she said what's wrong with you you have never acted this way before. I said I am tired of kissing your asses X3. Our son told his wife let's go so in a flurry they were up he picked up his card and then threw it back on the table. It was such a relief we wouldn't have to hear all the terrible things that they judge us for, how wrong everything is with us and our life. Then, how step-by-step how they are so perfect. We have paid down payments on 3 homes bought each a car, paid for vacations home improvements and even gave them a rental property house they sold and put money down on yet another home. They lost all 4. No kids that JESUS! The restaurant manager asked us to stay the meal would be on us. We thanked her but said we were going to leave - she said wait and came back with two huge pieces of cake chocolate and carrot. So wonderful it was nice to be treated with kindness and decency even if it was a stranger. GOD help us all. </p><p>I by the grace of God and my other family I have no grief, regret or guilt. I was so tired of never knowing what to say I'd get whipped either way. My husband was in shock too - he is very proud of me. I am no shrinking violet I am a strong powerful woman. I had a great career and am still working part-time my own business. I bit my tongue so much my belly was full of blood - with both our son and daughter-in-law. Today I am renewed and ready to shake the dust and go toward those who love, respect and treat me like the queen I am. Let's all join together and pray and/or hold all the struggling mothers and fathers (with crappy adult children) up in high esteem. PEACE</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lotus, post: 763823, member: 31786"] Last night I finally took my power back - it was our one and only adult son's 49th birthday. We were lost at the mall looking for the restaurant. We are in our seventies. I called our daughter-in-law to ask directions she said don't you have a GPS in her smart-ass tone. I said forget it will find a way and hung up. I immediately called our niece who directed us easily no questions asked. We got to the table and instead of greeting I got I don't like how you talked to my wife you hung up on her. I said we were rushed and nervous. In the same tone and attitude he accosted. My husband said you guys stop fighting. I did not listen. For the first time I didn't burst into tears or feel guilty. Then my daughter in law starts texting (I knew it was to her confidant aunt) giggling then got a response and said look she was laughing he look at phone said oh yeah. Then I said isn't that rude? All hell broke loose. My son had the hateful anger looked like he could spit fire at me. He was quaking looked ugly very ugly. He went through a litany of accusations that I answered saying I am your mother you are not my father my dad died years ago. My daughter in law said you know what your going to do not be able to see your son. I am crazy with rage over this because she has manipulated me for 28 years. We just saw them once last year. My husband said daughter in law eyes were like saucers in disbelief she said what's wrong with you you have never acted this way before. I said I am tired of kissing your asses X3. Our son told his wife let's go so in a flurry they were up he picked up his card and then threw it back on the table. It was such a relief we wouldn't have to hear all the terrible things that they judge us for, how wrong everything is with us and our life. Then, how step-by-step how they are so perfect. We have paid down payments on 3 homes bought each a car, paid for vacations home improvements and even gave them a rental property house they sold and put money down on yet another home. They lost all 4. No kids that JESUS! The restaurant manager asked us to stay the meal would be on us. We thanked her but said we were going to leave - she said wait and came back with two huge pieces of cake chocolate and carrot. So wonderful it was nice to be treated with kindness and decency even if it was a stranger. GOD help us all. I by the grace of God and my other family I have no grief, regret or guilt. I was so tired of never knowing what to say I'd get whipped either way. My husband was in shock too - he is very proud of me. I am no shrinking violet I am a strong powerful woman. I had a great career and am still working part-time my own business. I bit my tongue so much my belly was full of blood - with both our son and daughter-in-law. Today I am renewed and ready to shake the dust and go toward those who love, respect and treat me like the queen I am. Let's all join together and pray and/or hold all the struggling mothers and fathers (with crappy adult children) up in high esteem. PEACE [/QUOTE]
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